#763 – Dick Bernard: Congratulations, Tom and Jennifer, at your 25th Anniversary. "For everything, there is a season."

(click to enlarge photos)

Rick, Joan and Ron reminisce, August 21, 2013

Rick, Joan and Ron reminisce, August 21, 2013


Today is son Tom and Jennifers 25th wedding anniversary.
Congratulations to you both.
Achieving 25 years together is one of those significant accomplishments, not easy to attain. That’s long enough to experience both the unknown and unknowable. For a couple to reach 25 years together is a significant achievement, as anyone who has ever been in any relationship can attest.
For just a single example, Tom’s Mom, Barbara, and I married 50 years ago this year: June 8, 1963. Neither of us were expecting that she’d spend almost all of our very short marriage ill, dying little over two years later, July 24, 1965.
Roughly half-way through that brief marriage, Tom was born. He will turn 50 in a few months.
I became a single parent early.
Just two days ago I was out to Anoka, our first home after Barbara died, part of a reunion of fellow staff members of Roosevelt Junior High School in Blaine MN. I had signed a contract to teach there three days before Barbara, died, and I began teaching there scarce a month later, doing my best to cope, with the substantial help of new friends in my new home, far from ND, where we had lived the earlier years of our lives. I was there seven years, moving on in an unexpected direction which occupied my next 27 years.
Roosevelt Jr. High School, Blaine MN, Summer, 1968.  Photo by Dick Bernard

Roosevelt Jr. High School, Blaine MN, Summer, 1968. Photo by Dick Bernard


I told a colleague, Wednesday, that I still have not pieced together the events of that month of August, 1965…I guess it’s like living through a disaster: you remember it happened, but not exactly what. Survival trumps memory.
The picture which leads this post, was taken at that reunion two days ago: three of my colleagues from those early years. The photo started life as a mistake, but under the circumstances it is an ideal representation of times past. I taught with these folks. They are about my age. They can represent everyone I’ve ever known on the path of life thus far.
Earlier that same day, August 21, I received an e-mail from someone in Maryland, whose Mom remembers my parents, most likely in 1939-40, when they lived in Valley City, North Dakota, essentially next door to her then-young Mom and Dad. It caused me to dig out the earliest photo I have of myself, with my parents, 73 years ago in Valley City:
Henry and Esther Bernard with newborn son, Richard, May, 1940, Valley City ND

Henry and Esther Bernard with newborn son, Richard, May, 1940, Valley City ND


Her Mom has to be somewhere near 100 now.
(It’s odd what such pictures sometimes bring to the surface. For those of a certain age, who can forget the coal chute, whose door is visible behind the crib.)
We all know, as we age, priorities begin to change, often due to circumstances we couldn’t anticipate; often because our perspectives change.
Anybody whose life begins to approach old age is reminded of this when more and more frequently we attend someone’s funeral, or visit someone we know in a Nursing Home. To paraphrase the Bible phrase Ecclesiastes 3: 1-15, Weddings are replaced by Baptisms are replaced by Graduations are replaced by Weddings…. For everything there is a season. Fall is as certain as Winter, as is Spring and then Summer.
Last Saturday, at another reunion of former colleagues from the ever-more distant olden days of work with the Minnesota Education Association (1972-2000), an early must-do was to read a partial list of colleagues who had departed this life. It is an ever longer list. Each name, as read, brought back memories to all of us in attendance.
John reads the roll of departed colleagues, August 17, 2013

John reads the roll of departed colleagues, August 17, 2013


We were all young, once.
Enroute home on Wednesday, an unexpected detour on the freeway gave me an opportunity to stop in and visit a retired minister I’ve known and been good friends with for the last ten or so years.
Till very recently he, another friend and I have had a long-standing date, once a month, to meet for coffee and conversation.
Earlier this summer, William collapsed in Church, ending up in a convalescent facility.
Yesterday, I stopped to visit him there, and he’d been transferred to an assisted living facility, so I traveled a few more miles to visit him there. Returning home seems not an option for him any more.
Three short months ago, William and his wife had certain routines. He’s well into his 80s, now, so they knew the odds of change increased every day.
But we never like to anticipate the winter of our lives, whose evidence I increasingly see at funerals and memorials for people that I know.
Had Barbara lived, earlier this summer we might have celebrated our 50th anniversary. Such possibility was not to be.
“Lord willing”, as Dad would say, my 75th birthday is not far in the future. Wednesday night came a call that my once-young Uncle Vince is hospitalized once again. He’s made it to 88, but the slope is ever more slippery. At some point, reality becomes undeniable.
The family script mitigates against he or I or anyone within seeing 100, but that’s okay.
Contribute in some way to others lives today.
There may not be a tomorrow.
Happy anniversary, Tom and Jennifer.
We’re proud of you. We love you.
Barbara Sunde Bernard, June 8, 1963 - July 24, 1965

Barbara Sunde Bernard, June 8, 1963 – July 24, 1965


Dick Bernard and Barbara Sunde Wedding June 8, 1963, Valley City ND, with families.

Dick Bernard and Barbara Sunde Wedding June 8, 1963, Valley City ND, with families.

#755 – Dick Bernard: Going Gently

My wife’s many-years-long friend, also named Cathy, passed away last week.
A few hours ago we attended her funeral, a small quiet occasion in the chapel of a St. Paul Church where her parents – both still alive and in attendance last night – became engaged to be married 70 years ago.
Cathy was, the Memorial card said, just 66. There has been, and apparently will not be, an obituary.
It was, I gather, exactly as she wanted.
She announced what turned out to be her final illness just weeks ago, in a brief e-mail to friends:
“My dear friends, pardon me for sending this info in an e-mail.
I have been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It started in the tail which is very hard to detect. I will be starting chemo next week and [we] will be staying with one of my sisters.
Your thoughts and prayers are much appreciated.
And your friendship over these many years.
Cathy”
Understated though it was, her farewell last night was one of the most profound funerals I’ve ever attended.
One of her niece’s defined her Aunt’s successful life well. Successful seemed to mean, I gather, a life well lived as the oldest sibling of five, an Aunt, colleague, friend…with a passion for social justice.
She made a difference, profoundly, quietly.
Cathy and her friend, my wife, also named Cathy (their birth names, Catherine and Kathleen) were friends for many years, dating from time together at 3M. As friends do, they had developed a ritual over the years: they scheduled hair dressing appointments together, and had a long lunch somewhere afterwards.
I could tell you more about her, including her name, and I’m sure I have a photo, but somehow those seem to cross a boundary she wished left uncrossed.
Apparently, she left with the constant and quiet attention of her parents and siblings and spouse, just as she wished.
*
Today, we leave for several days of vacation (for me, a welcome vacation from this computer!).
One of the specific book selections I’m taking along on this short trip is one just recommended by my friend, Steve: “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying” by Bronnie Ware.
My selection has nothing to do with the quiet celebration of Cathy’s life – I had selected it before last night. But somehow its significance has just racheted up a notch. I’m not getting any younger, after all and attending at endings (funerals and the like) is now far more common than beginnings (as baptisms).
Life goes on. As my coffee shop, Caribou, likes to add: “stay awake for it”!

#749 – Dick Bernard: Dr. Soren Kolstoe, naturalist, outdoorsman, poet.

Depiction of Dr. Soren O. Kolstoe at entrance to Kolstoe Hall Valley City (ND) State University

Depiction of Dr. Soren O. Kolstoe at entrance to Kolstoe Hall Valley City (ND) State University

ND Centennial Stamps001
A while ago I was researching answers to a 1957 North Dakota test for high school Juniors and Seniors about North Dakota History, Geography and Government.
Reviewing a 1963 Geography text by Bernt L. Wills I found a number of poems about North Dakota outdoors written by Soren Kolstoe, a name familiar to me from my days at Valley City State Teachers College. Dr. Wills was clearly taken with Dr. Kolstoe’s sensitivity to the land and fauna of North Dakota and wanted to include some of his work in his book.
The poems intrigued me and I set out to try to find out more about Dr. Kolstoe and his work. Thanks to Shirley Lindsay, daughter of “Koley’s” (Dr. Kolstoe’s) close friend, hunting buddy, and legendary Dean of Men Lou Bruhn, I made contact with a couple of Dr. Kolstoe’s children, one of whom sent me a signed book of poetry, Lyrics of the Prairie, written by Dr. Kolstoe years ago (access to all poems below the photos).
Dr. Kolstoe was also legendary at STC. He joined the faculty in 1924,and retired in 1958. (Turns out he was 70 when he retired, and I’m 73 now, which gives one pause.) A few weeks after his retirement I began my college career there, so I didn’t know him personally, though he was still an advisor to the Fraternity I joined in 1960. But he was larger than life, even as a retiree.
[UPDATE July 27, 2013, the Kolstoe family shared with me a 2003 memo written by a staff person at Concordia College, Moorhead, about Dr. Kolstoe’s bio: Kolstoe,Soren-History]
A residence building at present day VCSU is named after him.
Here is an undated photo of Dr. Kolstoe; a second of him ca 1959 in the college yearbook; and of the hall named for him, and following the photos are Dr. Kolstoe’s poems and some comments of Carolyn Kolstoe, wife of Dr. Kolstoe’s son, Ralph, himself one of two Kolstoe sons who achieved, like their Dad, PhDs in Psychology.
(click on photos to enlarge them)

Dr. Soren Kolstoe, undated, at a State Fair in ND, with his display of wild bird eggs.

Dr. Soren Kolstoe, undated, at a State Fair in ND, with his display of wild bird eggs.

"Dr. S. O. Kolstoe enjoys EBC informal initiation" EBC section of 1960 Viking Annual, Valley City State Teachers College

“Dr. S. O. Kolstoe enjoys EBC informal initiation” EBC section of 1960 Viking Annual, Valley City State Teachers College

Kolstoe Hall Valley City State University July 5, 2013

Kolstoe Hall Valley City State University July 5, 2013

The family has given permission to share Dr. Kolstoe’s poems about North Dakota wildlife and environment, and because of their number – over 60 poems – they are presented here in three sections. (The first three pages in each are identical). It is believed these may have been published ca 1965, but that is uncertain.
Part 1: Lyrics of Prairie #1001
Part 2: Lyrics of Prairie #2002
Part 3: Lyrics of Prairie #3003
Here’s Carolyn Kolstoe, June 19, 2013 (shared with her permission): “I am delighted to know that you have enjoyed my father-in-laws’ poetry. He published this booklet of his love of North Dakota and the pleasures that he found there. [He sold the book] while he was displaying his bird egg and stuffed animals collection at state fairs. [Dr. Kolstoe] received his BA at St. Olaf, Northfield, MN, and his PhD at University of North Dakota. He taught at VCSTC for many years, then in retirement, was hired by the North Dakota Wildlife Federation to visit any school in the state to show slides and read poetry of animals of the state. We were living in Grand Forks when he came to visit the schools there.
He was born in Haugesund, Norway, January 4 1888, and died in Grand Forks ND February 12, 1978. [Sons] Oliver is living in CA, John is in Montana, and Ralph [Carolyn’s husband lives, depending on season, near Bemidji MN, Marco Island FL or Grand Forks ND]. Ralph retired from the UND Psychology Dept after having taught there for 35 years.
Soren’s egg collection was donated to the state of ND and while it was owned by Soren, it was one of the largest collections in the United States. He had the eggs boxed by the number in a usual nest, bedded in cotton with a glass cover. Many were displayed in the museum near the State Capitol in Bismarck. I am not sure where they are presently.”

Dr. Kolstoe had a special permit to do the egg collecting.
Anyone wishing to get a message to Dr. Kolstoe’s family can simply write dick_bernardATmsnDOTcom [nolonger an address] , with Kolstoe in subject line.

ND Wild Roses between LaMoure and Berlin ND, July 7, 2013

ND Wild Roses between LaMoure and Berlin ND, July 7, 2013

#745 – Dick Bernard: A quick visit to Valley City, Sykeston and rural LaMoure, North Dakota

I just spent four days and nearly 900 miles revisiting places of my roots in North Dakota. It seemed like a long trip, and it was, but then, last night, I watched the first part of the Ken Burns program on the Lewis and Clark Expedition of 1803-05.
Piece of cake.
This trip happened when I learned that tiny Sykeston High School, where I graduated in 1958, and where my Dad taught for ten years, and my mother for four, was having its Centennial, I decided I wanted to be there. I wrote a blog post about Sykeston on my birthday, May 4, and this morphed into six others, and now this one, eighth in the series.

Tom Richter, grad ca 1960, gets his photo by the iconic 1913 at Sykes High School July 6, 2013

Tom Richter, grad ca 1960, gets his photo by the iconic 1913 at Sykes High School July 6, 2013


Associated, was another history centered blog post about Valley City State Teachers College, which I attended, and graduated from, in 1961. This led to another blog post on January 2, 2013, which has itself had many followup posts.
Old Main - McFarland Hall at Valley City (ND) State University July 5, 2013

Old Main – McFarland Hall at Valley City (ND) State University July 5, 2013


So, there’s little reason to write more. Mostly, this post consists of photographs with captions I took at Valley City on July 5, and at Sykeston on July 6, 2013.
2013 Sykeston here *. (See note at end of this post.)
Valley City here.
There is an additional Facebook album from another larger Sykeston reunion in the summer of 2008, here.
And readers familiar with either place can add to with additional photos or comments at their leisure.
Sykeston is 400 miles one way from home in suburban St. Paul; in between, some 310 miles from home, is Valley City. So it was not “out of the way” to stop at one enroute to the other. Between Sykeston and Valley City is Jamestown – always “Jimtown” to my Grandpa.
When I began college in 1958, the first ten-mile section of Interstate 94 was being constructed in North Dakota, between Valley City and Jamestown. It was probably one of the first true pieces of Interstate in the United States. I remember it was said to cost “a million dollars a mile”. So it makes sense, with this piece of history, to note that endless ribbon of concrete called I-94 in North Dakota:
I-94 between Valley City and Jamestown ND July 6, 2013

I-94 between Valley City and Jamestown ND July 6, 2013


This trip I drove 550 miles on I-94, lickedy-split. Kids today cannot imagine what it was like in the years before the Freeways, even on U.S. highways, all of which went through the middle of every town, large and small. It was not the good old days: no air-conditioning in the car, no cruise control, no seat belts….
At Jamestown, in 1959, along I-94 was built what has become something of an iconic tourist attraction, “The World’s Largest Buffalo”. That buffalo was constructed during the time I was in college, and I decided I needed to stop there after leaving Sykeston on July 6. The buffalo is, the plaque says, 46 feet long, 26 feet high, 14 feet wide and it weighs 60 tons. More about the buffalo here.
It’s not going anywhere. It has aged well.
The World's largest buffalo at Jamestown ND July 6, 2013

The World’s largest buffalo at Jamestown ND July 6, 2013


We had been at that very spot in 1960, and here’s photo “evidence” (I wasn’t in this particular photo, and probably wasn’t photographer either, but all of my siblings and my Mom are in this photo):
Bernards Worlds Largest Buffalo Jamestown ND ca 1960001
Yes, it is just your basic tourist attraction, but impressive nonetheless.
Completing the trip, on July 7, my Uncle and I were driving out to the family “Century Farm” 10 miles from LaMoure and I asked him to stop at the corner of Highway 13 and their county road. There, as they have been for years, was a nest of wild prairies roses that somehow or other have escaped being plowed under for all these years.
The wild prairie rose is North Dakota’s state flower.
A photo of this flower is an appropriate way to end this post.
Wild Prairie Roses between LaMoure and Berlin ND July 7, 2013

Wild Prairie Roses between LaMoure and Berlin ND July 7, 2013


* – This is a letter to those who attended Sykeston High School – an idea for future consideration: Sykes High Future001

#736 – Dick Bernard: The Traffic Lights

As everyone in the Twin Cities knows, the last two nights have been interesting, to say the least. Powerful, fast-moving thunderstorms raced through our neighborhoods with high, straight-line winds and brief but torrential rains. The Star Tribune headline says 250,000 are without power this morning.
I was at Gandhi Mahal restaurant in south Minneapolis about 8 p.m. last night and the proprietor, Ruhel, said what was happening outside reminded him of days in his native Bangladesh, when the high winds and heavy rain would make for perfect mango-picking weather: the wind would dislodge the ripe ones from the tree.
Our conversation had been interrupted when he raced out to help bring in the sidewalk cafe furniture. He returned, soaked.
Enroute home I had to change route once – a flooded intersection. It was an interesting trip.
But I think this morning about traffic lights in our town, both Friday and Saturday early morning.
I am a creature of habit, leaving early for morning coffee on heavily traveled city streets.
Yesterday, the traffic lights were out at two places along my route; in early afternoon at another; this morning at yet another place (photo below, click to enlarge).

Out of commission traffic lights at Radio Drive and City Centre in Woodbury MN 8 a.m. June 22, 2013

Out of commission traffic lights at Radio Drive and City Centre in Woodbury MN 8 a.m. June 22, 2013


In none of the instances were there any means of traffic control: no temporary stop signs, not even volunteer traffic cops. We were all on our own.
I marvel at the order that instinctively prevailed at even the busy intersections: People stopped, took turns, no horns blared.
We were all strangers acting completely civilized towards each other.
We were, I thought, acting like people in our society typically do (which is very much unlike the “it bleeds, it leads” enemies-not-friends mentality of what passes for news these days.
We are, in the imperfect way of humans, a good team when competition is well tempered by good old Kindergarten-wisdom – be nice.
Just a few days ago, I read an article which seems pertinent for this space, this day, about becoming and being a team.
It was in the Summer 2013 Alumni Review of the University of North Dakota, and was Chapter One of a new book, , Eleven Rings, The Soul of Success by UND graduate (1967) and legendary NBA Basketball Coach Superstar Phil Jackson who holds 11 NBA Championship Rings.
You can read Chapter One here, if you wish: Phil Jackson on Success001
It has some good lessons about how successful teams (like our society at those traffic lights in Woodbury) can work, well.

#733 – Dick Bernard: Thoughts about Dad's…and Mom's…and Men…and Women…on Father's…and Mother's Days

Friday, at the gym, the woman scanning my card said “have a good Father’s Day weekend”. I’m not sure if her screen said I was a Dad, or if I just looked like I must have been one, sometime. I’m pretty sure she said the same thing to all adult males with wedding bands, or who just looked like Dads…
A couple of days earlier, 8th grade grade Grandson Ryan asked Grandma to hold off on Father’s Day until he returns from the bus trip he’s on to Washington DC. They’ll be back, tired, on Tuesday night. “Father’s Day” on spouse Cathy’s “side” will come sometime after Tuesday at our house. Shortly, my daughters will treat me to breakfast. It will be a busy day for us all. Daughter Joni said getting up as early as she’ll need to today is part of her Father’s Day gift to me.
So true.
Today, Sunday, June 16, called Father’s Day in the U.S., the Ryan and his cohort are visiting George and Martha Washington’s Mt. Vernon. Ah, George and Martha. George was a step-dad, and he and Martha didn’t have children together. Alternative kinds of families are as old as human history.
A month ago was Mother’s Day, and I had a post all prepared to send on the day. It is at the end of this post, unedited. I didn’t click send on it, then, because we were hosting several Moms and families, all relatives, and the day showed prospects of being more than a little complicated. (I’ll leave the reader to define “complicated”.)
(It was a complicated day, but all turned out fine.)
So it goes with these special days. We are not in the olden days, as if the olden days were idyllic, where there was, we like to remember, one biological Mom (“the Homemaker”) and one biological Dad (“the Breadwinner”), and all was happy, and “complicated” events and life circumstances were not much talked about, and left out of later family stories and histories, as if they didn’t exist.

Parents Henry and Esther; kids (from left) Frank,Florence, John, Mary Ann and Richard, early June, 1948, Sykeston ND

Parents Henry and Esther; kids (from left) Frank,Florence, John, Mary Ann and Richard, early June, 1948, Sykeston ND


A tired Henry Bernard,visible at left, takes a break while rehabbing the North House in 1947.  Photo is of the east exposure of the house.

A tired Henry Bernard,visible at left, takes a break while rehabbing the North House in 1947. Photo is of the east exposure of the house.


So, what is a Dad, this Father’s Day, to me?
Somehow or other a dream on June 11, brought the confusion into some focus for me. I seldom remember dreams, and I’ve never done any analysis of them, but this particular one woke me up 4:30 or 5 a.m. and without embellishment, this is what I remember (I wrote a few words of notes to myself immediately when I woke).
For some reason, I was asked to say something to some kind of group, possibly a bunch of teachers I used to represent, and I started by talking about a Dad as a metaphorical “Rock” (you can define the symbolism of that for yourself).
It didn’t seem quite adequate, so I mentioned a Dad as an “Anchor”; and even that didn’t quite fit, so I added the descriptor of a “Balloon”.
And I woke up.
Later that day Grandson Ryan – not my biological grandson – played a baseball game that we watched; early the next day, we watched as he and his cohort got on the buses to go to Washington DC.
It occurred to me, looking back at my note pad, that maybe all three of those words, Rock, Anchor, Balloon, applied to my relationship with Ryan, and to others, and to relationships generally between people. Mostly, our relationships are (thankfully) not all intense 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They are all different.
Maybe these words apply to all of we adult males who in one way or another are role models, support systems, and on and on for people who just happen to be in our space and for one reason or another are impacted by us, with the impact noticed, maybe years later. And the impact might not be necessarily positive at the time, but useful, nonetheless.)
So, wherever you happen to be in your life, men, Happy Father’s Day. And a belated Happy Mother’s Day to all of you women, whether or not you have biological children. In a sense we are all Dads, and Moms, to many….
Enjoy. Following is what I wrote back in May, but never published, on Mom’s.
Cathy's Mothers Day Plant on Fathers Day (how it looked on Mothers Day is at the end of this post.)  This plant began life as a work project at the Ramsey County Correctional Facility (Workhouse), grown by inmates....

Cathy’s Mothers Day Plant on Fathers Day (how it looked on Mothers Day is at the end of this post.) This plant began life as a work project at the Ramsey County Correctional Facility (Workhouse), grown by inmates….


(UNPUBLISHED) THOUGHTS FOR MOTHER’S DAY, MAY 12, 2013
Mother’s Day has a complicated history if one considers the comprehensive definition of “mother”.
As we celebrate Mother’s Day in the United States, it has only been a greeting card and flowers kind of event for at most about 100 years.
Today at our home, several mothers from Cathy’s family will e here – two daughters-in-law and a niece and, of course the “Queen Mother” herself (an inside joke with its own story!). Cathy invited the group over, and will be busy today, and I’ll do “as assigned”.
One of my daughters will be score keeping at a baseball game for her 11 year old’s baseball team at a tournament near here; my other daughter-who’s-a-Mom will likely be at some other event just across the river, likely with her husband, kids and in-laws. I’m not sure what my son and daughter-in-law in Denver area will be doing, but it will probably involve their daughter and her husband who live nearby.
Mother’s Day is a diverse day for us, and I would guess, for most Americans.
Both of our own Mom’s have long ago passed on: Cathy’s mother when Cathy was only 16; my mother when I was 41.
None of our constellation will be somewhere fishing, for now a many year complication of traditional Mother’s Day in Minnesota: fishing opener and Mother’s Day compete with each other.
Some families (and Mom’s) will be lucky and have the perfect day; others will not be so lucky. Such events have their own potentials for peril!
In my files is a collection of about 160 postcards (greeting cards) received by my Grandma and Grandpa in the first years after they moved to their new farm in North Dakota in 1905. These were all pre-formal Mother’s Day and speak for themselves.
Usually they were sister-to-sister affection and support, from time-to-time: on the occasion of a birth, for instance.
Two of those cards has always been interesting to me. They explain themselves:
(click to enlarge)
BUSCH Postcards early 1900s - 99 - Undated104
BUSCH Postcards early 1900s - 92 - Sep 1 1910097
Being Mom is not always that idyllic!
Neither is being Mom a stereotype:
I was a single “Mom” of a child on two occasions for a total of 8 1/2 less than perfect years. I made do.
Legions of family constellations have substitute or fill-in Moms, great numbers of whom are Men.
I’ve had the great good fortune of knowing many women…and men…who did much parenting for many years. Many of them did not have biological children of their own. They went by the name “public school teacher”; some of them were Nuns I had as an elementary student, or got to know as I got older.
Being biological mother is restricted, of course, to the roughly half of humanity who happen to be female, but mothers die, often young, especially in the not always “good old days”, and others took over. And Dads die too, to be replaced by someone male or female who’s a surrogate.
We know at least one Mom whose two children have been born through surrogate mothers.
It doesn’t take much of a formal inventory of one’s own family constellation to find out how complicated “motherhood” all is.
For us, I think Mother’s Day will be a good day.
Out on the front step is a new plant which we hopefully will keep alive to glorious ongoing blooms for weeks, perhaps even most of the summer.
Happy Mother’s Day to everyone, and not just the biological mom’s out there!
IMG_1282
I remember especially this Mother’s Day, my first wife, who I married 50 years ago, June 8, 1963. Barbara was the mother of our first child, Tom, who’s now 49. She died of kidney disease July 24, 1965, barely having started a Mom’s life. (UPDATE: I wrote a story about the 50th anniversary of our marriage recently. It is here.)

#732 – Dick Bernard: A Gentle Lady says Farewell.

Today was “A Service of Thanksgiving for the Life of Leslie Reinhardt Reindl, August 1, 1936 – May 14, 2013.”
Of the photos of Leslie’s life on the display board, this one was my favorite.
(click to enlarge)

Leslie Reindl, from a photo on a display of photos of her life, June 15, 2013

Leslie Reindl, from a photo on a display of photos of her life, June 15, 2013


We were told that Leslie prepared the service, and if so, she did a beautiful job. There were solos: the American folk hymn “The Lone Wild Bird“; and the classic “The Rose“, both very effectively presented by soloists, as were the poems “Living in the Light” by Jeanne Leicester and Barbara McAfee; and Sleeping in the Forest by Mary Oliver.
At the end of the service, the Veterans for Peace rang the Peace Bell eleven times, a long-time tradition, dating back to the end of World War I in 1918.
Leslie chose to leave this earth quietly, and simply in a “green burial”, to again be part of the earth, and to thus participate in the endless cycle of renewal. Mention was made of the Threshold Network.
I didn’t know Leslie well, apparently few did, but she left behind a beautiful legacy of caring for others, with a particular passion for the environment and for peace.
The program for the Service included the following testament:
“Leslie’s basic motive for the many roles she played in her life was compassion. Whether it was as a church Elder or as an advocate for peace and the care of all creation, compassion for people, creatures, and the earth drove Leslie.
She had a vision that connecting with Nature, and especially the experience of caring for creation, could help people internalize a compassion for ALL life, and thence build their own ways to help us all in eventually achieving a true, universal, Peaceable Kingdom [this two word phrase likely from her friend, and mine, Bob Milner, who was at the service].
Leslie left a legacy including land and funds, ideas and ideals. she and her family hope that we, her friends and fellow members of [the Macalester Plymouth United Church, 1658 Lincoln Avenue St Paul 55105] might use her legacy to aid in furthering the emergence of that Kingdom. Her family is exploring ideas widely, as they make plans to continue Leslie’s commitment and action.
For those who would like to be part of these efforts with a memorial to Leslie, memorial donations can be made payable to Macalester Plymouth United Church with “Leslie Reindl memorial in the memo line. Funds will be used to further Leslie’s legacy.”

Earlier in the week, the Minnesota Alliance of Peacemakers (MAP) established a fund dedicated to Leslie, anticipating the request today. Leslie was President of MAP in 2003 and 2004.
As I wrote to her husband, Wilhelm, today, “Leslie was on the court, and not in the stands. She was willing to do what was necessary to stand for her ideals for peace, justice and sustainability in our world.”
She was among the legion of people who will preserve the future for others on this planet of ours.
With gratitude to her husband of 43 years, Wilhelm, their daughter, Joanna, and friends, Linda Bergh, Connie Lindberg, Wes Davey and Molly Redmond who made today’s event so meaningful for all of us.
Vets for Peace ring 11 bells for peace at the conclusion of the memorial service for Leslie Reindl

Vets for Peace ring 11 bells for peace at the conclusion of the memorial service for Leslie Reindl


Leslie J. Reindl Reinhardt
August 1, 1936 – May 14,2013
Born in St. Paul MN, Graduate of
Macalester College,
Postgraduate at the University of
Minnesota,
Editor for McGraw Hill Publishing Co.
(Postgraduate Medicine
Sports Medicine),
Freelance Editor
of
Text- and Trade-books.
She was
a Lover of Plants, Animals and People,
ready
to give sanctuary to all of them,
especially to
“Lone Wild Birds”
and a tireless
Advocate of Compassion and Justice
for all Forms of Life.

Dick Bernard: Remembering Sykeston ND in the late 1940s

Other Posts in this series, as follows:
Feb 11, 2013: “Sykes High, oh Sykes High School”
May 4 (the main article): Thoughts on Sykeston High School at its Centennial
May 9 A 1957 Social Studies Test
June 28 Snapshots in History of Sykeston
June 29 Sports in 1950s small towns in North Dakota
July 3: Remembering Don Koller and the Lone Ranger
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Today we saw 8th grade Grandson, Ryan, off as three busloads of kids left for a week in Washington, D.C. A couple of months ago, two other grandsons, grade 7, were on a similar trip.
I thought, as I watched the kids board the bus this morning, about my own graduation from 8th grade (1954, Ross ND). I would have had absolutely zero framework of reference of even the possibility of ever going to Washington D.C. then, though I do recall seeing President Eisenhower on motorcade in Minot ND about that time. He was probably there concerning the soon-to-be Minot Air Force Base.
But today seems to be a good time to recall Sykeston, as the tiny central ND town prepares to celebrate its High School Building Centennial in early July. Here is what I have written thus far about that school.
We lived in Sykeston twice. In this piece, I choose the years 1946-51 as a personal focus, grades 1-5 for me.
Below is Sykeston from the perspective of the United States Geological Service in 1951; and a photo of our family in June, 1948, shortly after youngest sibling John was born. I’m the kid on the right, 8 years old. A couple of days before John was born, was my First Communion at St. Elizabeth’s down the street.
Here is Google Maps satellite perspective of Sykeston in the present era.
(click on photos to enlarge)

Sykeston from a USGS topographic map, 1951.  (www.usgs.gov for this and other maps.)

Sykeston from a USGS topographic map, 1951. (www.usgs.gov for this and other maps.)


Parents Henry and Esther; kids (from left) Frank,Florence, John, Mary Ann and Richard, early June, 1948, Sykeston ND

Parents Henry and Esther; kids (from left) Frank,Florence, John, Mary Ann and Richard, early June, 1948, Sykeston ND


Sykeston in the 1940s hardly varied from about 225 residents. Its highest population never exceeded about 275 (1920), and since 1950 the population has decreased.
Beginning in perhaps the summer of 1947, we lived in what the family always called “the North House”. On the map, it is the northernmost dot in Sykeston. Its recent past was as a granary somewhere out in the countryside. Even from a 7 year olds perspective, it was a major rehab effort.
The "North House" comes to Sykeston from the country in 1947

The “North House” comes to Sykeston from the country in 1947


A tired Henry Bernard,visible at left, takes a break while rehabbing the North House in 1947.  Photo is of the east exposure of the house.

A tired Henry Bernard,visible at left, takes a break while rehabbing the North House in 1947. Photo is of the east exposure of the house.


I made a few nickels hauling buckets of grain from the North House to O. J. Lundby’s elevator. I’m guessing it was more a reward for effort, than of value to the elevator, but nonetheless those Buffalo/Indianhead nickels burned a hole in my youthful pocket.
Of course, there was an outhouse, initially. When city water made it from the water tower to our place, a tiny bathroom was built in, and I vividly remember the time a dead minnow made a trip from Lake Hiawatha to our bathtub. At that time, I believe, the town drinking water came from a town pump by Merck Grocery, “downtown”, a few blocks away.
For some reason, I have vivid memories of two airplane events when we lived at the North House.
Townsman Jesse Evans owned a plane, and had something of a makeshift runway in the field north of our house. One time he overshot the runway and ran into Lake Hiawatha. Best I know he survived, and the plane as well. It sticks in my mind.
Much more vivid, because I actually saw it approach and pass over the town, was the day when a huge aircraft with six propeller engines came over Sykeston, at a very low elevation, from the north.
There was no notice of this event. The plane came and it disappeared.
Piecing together this mystery, I’ve concluded that I (and perhaps others) likely witnessed a B-36 bomber on some kind of training mission from South Dakota’s Ellsworth Air Force base, sometime after 1947. Here’s an article and some video about the B-36 and here’s an article about Ellsworth AFB and the B36.
For kids, the world is the bounds of their neighborhood, and for we kids in Sykeston, the streets of the town were our neighborhood – our range. Occasionally there were forays out to the Dam north of town; as well as to the town dump, repository of treasures a bit to the east of the town. But mostly our adventures (and misadventures) were on those city streets, and at Lake Hiawatha, a unique part of Sykeston, an amenity shared by few ND communities.
Eight kids and dog on Lake Hiawatha in winter.

Eight kids and dog on Lake Hiawatha in winter.


So, what do I remember? This is an abbreviated list. Every reader in Sykeston, particularly my contemporaries back then, can identify many more memories. Everyone, anywhere, would have their own similar memories about their own cohort, their own town.
The local “gang” – I don’t recall there was any competing gang – were basically the same age, and ran the same routes. Some names that come to mind: Tubby Sondag, Jerry Kutz, Bobbie(?) Kunz, Don Koller, Johnny and Jim (“bull” and “little bull”) Merck; Johnny Hammes; the Woiwode boys; Dougie Wild; Wagners; John and Jim Eaton. Arlo Neumiller and Bob Miller may have been around the bunch, too, but this bunch was basically the Catholics, from St. Elizabeths School, and religious denomination made a difference in those days.
My apologies to any kids I inadvertently missed in this list.
About the time we moved to the North House (1947), the next door neighbors were the depot agent, the Neustel’s, and their kids Pepper and McGee. They moved away from Sykeston not long after we moved into our house one vacant lot away.
The locus of the action for the Sykeston “gang” seemed to run between Kutz’s pasture on the east end (the dump, further east, on really adventuresome days) to Lake Hiawatha on the west. Of course, the “lake” was Pipestem Creek, which to my knowledge was initially dammed by the town founder Richard Sykes, part of whose property was north of what we kids knew as the swimming hole (I almost drowned at that swimming hole, and as a result have never learned how to swim – that is a whole other story. That hasn’t stopped me from occasional dumb things around water, like twice canoeing in the Quetico Wilderness, but the incident at the swimming beach across the walking bridge from town was terrifying and life-changing for a perhaps 9 year old.)
Compared with today, Sykeston’s Main Street and the side streets surrounding were pretty busy in the 1940s. Here are some memories, hopefully reasonably accurate:
Merck’s Grocery was a town institution and the place where I made my first small purchases of goods in the 1940s: I seem to remember Popsicles and Sunkist orange pop, for instance. The town pump, was near the store, between the store and Merck’s house, and I hauled drinking water more than once from that pump to the North House. I don’t recall city drinking water in Sykeston at that time. I might be wrong on that.
The “fire department” I recall was still the old firehouse hand cart with coiled hose pulled by men by hand, or at least I recall seeing a practice run by some men from the firehall by the water tower. Maybe there was a town fire truck. I don’t recall it.
Mr. Spitzer, I think, took a large wheeled push cart down to the depot to pick up the mail bags when the west bound train came through in the morning.
People gathered at the post office, kibbitzing, waiting for the mail to be distributed. It was the daily predictable weekday event in Sykeston.
There was the Wagner Hardware, the Blacksmith Shop, Daniels Barber Shop (the first barber shop hair cut I remember), a still working cream station – maybe two of them, a Red Owl, the Locker Plant, the saloon of course, with roller skating upstairs every now and then, a gas station with lots of inner tubes – one of which accompanied me on my near date with death at Lake Hiawatha, the baseball diamond, the Lutheran church which seemed to be off limits to we Catholics.
I contributed to the Sykeston economy and Wagners by buying – then losing – marbles to the more expert kids. Once I recall being invited to the attic of the Sondag house at the south end of our block. Up there were buckets and buckets of marbles, sorted by types. It was like I’d seen marble heaven.
Mr. Kramer sold insurance downtown I believe, and a dentist, Doc Dummer, and Wild’s Restaurant, and the two gas stations on the highway, one at each entrance point to Sykeston.
And Lundby’s elevator – O. J. was the rich man in town (or so I thought).
Deserving many stories all by itself, perhaps the main social center of the town, was the St. Elizabeths Hall – to me it was the Town Hall: basketball, school plays, the movies, Bingo, dances. A single sentence doesn’t suffice. Together, those who gathered in its space could write a very interesting book….
I probably could go on with more and more memories, maybe embellished by imperfect memory after over 60 years away from them.
But some memories do stick, as we all know, good and bad, and I hope you enjoyed reading this.
(click to enlarge)
Several early plat maps of Sykeston area seen in old post office July 2008

Several early plat maps of Sykeston area seen in old post office July 2008


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The Sykeston North House, June, 2000, the east exposure.  Some years later it burned to the ground.

The Sykeston North House, June, 2000, the east exposure. Some years later it burned to the ground.

#731 – Dick Bernard: Remembering a Wedding 50 Years Ago Today, June 8, 1963

A short while back came an invitation to celebrate the 50th wedding anniversary of Jules and Sharon (Alinder) Dragland: click on Dragland.
They went to the same college as I, at the same general time, and while we didn’t know each other personally, then, we’ve become acquainted through a college alumni mailing list.
I asked if I could send their announcement on to the list, and they said fine.
I also remarked about the coincidence: my first wife, Barbara, and I were married June 8, 1963, as well. And asked the question: and where did you marry? It turned out they married the same day as Barbara and I, at a Church one-third of a mile from ours, in the same town, Valley City ND. A pretty amazing coincidence.
Those who know me know that Barbara and my marriage was not at all routine. It wasn’t marital problems – not that at all. Five months after we were married, she had to quit teaching due to a previously unknown and ultimately fatal kidney condition. She had our first and only child, Tom, February 26, 1964, and passed away waiting for a kidney transplant July 24, 1965.
A friend marveled, today, that I remember the details so well, so many years later. Such journeys one never forgets.
Life has gone on, and I don’t think she has accompanied me too much as a ghost since then, in the sense of impacting on later relationships. Had she lived, I think we would have done well, knowing our mutual interests, then, but anyone who’s been married knows that you are never guaranteed an easy path. There is this and that wrinkle: every couple knows this. Widows have the luxury of defined memories that, at some point, are terminated by their partners death. In my case, this was only two years for both of us living from one day to the next, not knowing what the next 24 hours would bring, healthwise.
Here are two photos: of Barbara on our wedding day at St. Catherine’s in Valley City ND; and of me, a few weeks earlier on Army maneuvers at Yakima Firing Range, Washington. There is a little story to follow:
(click to enlarge)

Barbara Sunde Bernard, June 8, 1963

Barbara Sunde Bernard, June 8, 1963


Dick, Yakima Firing Range, Washington, May, 1963

Dick, Yakima Firing Range, Washington, May, 1963


Barbara was doubtless better at planning this wedding than I. She was very poor, but she had family and she had friends in town.
Me? I had been in the Army since January of 1962 at Ft. Carson, Colorado; she and I had become engaged, and the wedding date was set.
Then our entire Division set out to play war on the Yakima Firing Range in dismal southeast Washington State. (The Division was preparing for later duty in Vietnam. We didn’t know that at the time.)
We went the 1200 miles one-way, there and back, by truck, and, it seemed, I’d be home in time to get the required blood test.
I know from letters I wrote her (which she kept), that she was nervous about all of this separation, so close to wedding day. This was not deemed to be an emergency matter by either the Army or myself.
I recall distinctly, on some liberty time, going in to Yakima to be fitted for the wedding wear, so at least that could be ready.
Maneuvers over, the Division motor-marched back to Ft. Carson, I took my leave and got home in time for the wedding, which went well.
We “honey-mooned” by taking the Greyhound bus back to Colorado Springs, and living in a tiny apartment, half of a two car garage, for the next month. We gave meaning to the phrase: “poor as church mice.” Then she returned home to start a teaching career, which lasted two months till she had to resign due to illness.
And that began Fifty Years Ago today.
Dick and Barbara with family members, Grandma and Grandpa Busch, my Mom and Dad, sister Mary Ann, David and Ruth Kent, Barbara's Mom and brother, my sister Florence, and brother Frank.  Missing from photo were my brother John, and Barbara's brother Mike.  My Dad's parents had both passed away by then.

Dick and Barbara with family members, Grandma and Grandpa Busch, my Mom and Dad, sister Mary Ann, David and Ruth Kent, Barbara’s Mom and brother, my sister Florence, and brother Frank. Missing from photo were my brother John, and Barbara’s brother Mike. My Dad’s parents had both passed away by then.


Barbara's bridesmaids, June 8, 1963.  (I hope I'm correct) Connie Cink, Florence Bernard, and Shirley Undem.

Barbara’s bridesmaids, June 8, 1963. (I hope I’m correct) Connie Cink, Florence Bernard, and Shirley Undem.


UPDATE:
from Sharon and Jule, June 8, 2013: This was most interesting to us. You have great memories. I found this sad to read, yet happy to see how happy Barb was on your special wedding day. She chose lavender and we had blue with lavender flowers. . We have been so very lucky and have had a great 50 years. We had an awesome day, are so happy, feel extremely blessed and looking forward to our party tomorrow. Thanks for sharing your story and sending your best wishes. There will be several people here that you know. It was great to get a long note from Richard Greene yesterday. We have heard from so many people. Because of you, we have heard from people we hardly remember, but who seem to remember us. It has been a fun ride.
See also Responses to this post.
Barbara is buried in the St. Catherine’s Cemetery, Valley City ND, perhaps 100 feet northeast of the statue on the south edge which overlooks the cemetery.
At St. Catherine's Cemetery Valley City ND August 16, 1978

At St. Catherine’s Cemetery Valley City ND August 16, 1978

#728 – Dick Bernard: A great day around kids.

Today I visited two school events, one in Minneapolis, one in South St. Paul. One planned, one last minute. The events caused me to go into my memento box and pull out a little memory book from back in the 1950s.
School Daze001
The book seems to be from my Junior year in high school (Antelope Consolidated, rural Mooreton ND). About all it includes are the basketball scores from that year. We won more than we lost. Once we scored 91 points; once an opponent scored 91 against us.
I loved basketball in our tiny schools. It was about the only sport available. Sometimes there was summer baseball; only once were there enough of us to have a six-man football team. There were no other sports, and never, in high school, a band – no teacher with even rudimentary skills.
The good old days.
Todays planned event was over at Washburn High School in south Minneapolis. I had been there some months ago during a troubled time, and wrote about a community meeting then.
Today was much more uplifting. The students of Cristina Benz’s first hour ceramics class and [some other] students have been diligently working on making a peace pole to rededicate Washburn as an International Peace Site.
They had constructed a unique Peace Pole out of ceramic squares, all reflecting the word “peace” in different ways and different languages. There was an hour of discussion and refreshments, and I went away refreshed in more ways than simply a bagel! The actual dedication of the pole will be a bit later. School ends for the year tomorrow.
Of course, Washburn ended up in the news for something negative…the way news often is. I asked how the next few non-newsworthy months have gone. By all accounts: just fine. The school moved on. The news media went to the next negative stories….
Here are a few photos from the class:
(click to enlarge)

Two students explain the still incomplete Peace Pole at Washburn High School

Two students explain the still incomplete Peace Pole at Washburn High School


1939 Washburn High School graduate Lynn Elling talks to this years students at the class.

1939 Washburn High School graduate Lynn Elling talks to this years students at the class.


Some lucky bird may take up residence in this ceramic birdhouse which will grace the top of the completed peace pole.

Some lucky bird may take up residence in this ceramic birdhouse which will grace the top of the completed peace pole.


Teacher Cristina Benz chats with guest Lynn Elling after his presentation.

Teacher Cristina Benz chats with guest Lynn Elling after his presentation.


Then to South St. Paul’s Lincoln Center School for the 5th grade run including granddaughter, Kelly.
It was a beautiful day, and the run was plenty long and hard. Quite a number of teachers participated.
This was a fun run: you go at your own pace. I got to thinking back to those old days when, perhaps, there’d be what I think was called a Play Day. I thought of one particular one in Stanley ND when I was in 8th grade. The tiny schools came together for a time of competitions of the time: sack races, softball toss, that sort of thing.
A feature of today’s So. St. Paul run that you wouldn’t have seen in those days was the inclusion of everybody, regardless of native ability. It was a day of personal bests for all.
That’s one of many neat parts of todays society. It hasn’t always been so.
Happy Summer, kids!
Here’s some photos from Lincoln Center run today:
The 5th grade run begins.

The 5th grade run begins.


Kids from other classes extend support.

Kids from other classes extend support.


Heading towards a personal best.

Heading towards a personal best.


Doing a lap on the track.

Doing a lap on the track.


Almost finished!

Almost finished!


Schools done.  1950s depiction.

Schools done. 1950s depiction.