A Personal “State of the Union”

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PRE-NOTE:  I have struggled a bit about where I, personally, fit into being part of the solution in the current mess that is the United States…and it is a mess.  It is so much easier to be a part of the problem: to lament and to blame.  The thoughts which follow, which took root a few days before the shutdown ended last week, are mostly a message to myself.

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Shortly before the President called off the government shutdown last week, I was watching an interview of Gary Cohn at the Davos conference in Switzerland.  The lady doing the interview was doing a good job of pushing Cohn on the issue of the huge numbers of U.S. government workers either furloughed or working without pay.  Cohn is battle tested with such interviews – part of “basic training” for executives.  He held his ground: big permanent tax cuts (POSTNOTE ONE) were a hallmark accomplishment of the first Trump year; the key corporate function is responsibility to shareholders – the entities that hold shares in the corporation are all that matter.

Yesterday, at the local McDonald’s, I heard Cohn’s arch conservative counterpart on the other end of the economic scale rail on at a neighboring table.  Eavesdropping was unavoidable.  He was loudly noting to his table mates, all senior citizens, all men, about how the Democrats had to be investigated.  The reason, it appeared, was that the Democrat House of Representatives was about to begin investigations of sundry matters Trump.  The man on the soapbox was pretty incensed.  In my opinion, the guy is pretty representative of a large (but surmountable) class of angry citizens – we all know people like him.

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After watching Cohn, I did a  quick google: depending on what is apparently a loose definition, about half of American adults have some investment in the stock market, either as individuals or as part of groups (as retirement funds) etc.  (The vast majority of “investors” include myself, and many if not most of the people I know.  Most of us are tiny minnows in a pond of predator much larger investor fish.  We are useful as lunch for the big boys and girls, like Cohn.  There is no equality in the stock holding capitalist class.)

Re my old guy neighbor at the other table, later in the day came an e-mail from good friend, Madeline, which adds a little context on investigations, and which I include at the end of this post (POSTNOTE TWO).  My guess is Mr. Outrage and I wouldn’t agree on the meaning of the numbers.  I don’t think he could seriously disagree with the data….  But if to agree or disagree requires consideration of actual data, there is little chance of engagement.  That’s where he stands.  People like me are the problem; people like Trump are the savior.

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A quandary:

The shutdown and resulting hardship to hundreds of thousands of government workers has presented a quandary to myself.  Personally, we live in relative comfort.  If we need something we have access to it.

Round one of the federal shutdown is now over.  We weren’t touched, it seems…round two hopefully won’t happen, but there is no safe bet on that.

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While the first shutdown was in progress I asked my wife, did she know anyone adversely affected by it?  Her answer was “no”.  I knew no one either..

Most of us were not directly affected by the shutdown.  It’s easy to pretend that there is no problem.  What is on TV is there, not here.  But not necessarily.

A day later I had an unintended discovery.  I had reason to check an old recollection that related to the Dwight Eisenhower administration in, probably, 1952.  It was an historical archive matter, and the obvious place to get my answer was the Eisenhower Library in Abilene KS, a place I had actually visited in 1983.

Mine was a spur of the moment question.   I simply google’d the web site and a screen came up, similar to the screen which appears here.    The library and its services were shut down due to the government shutdown.  (I am not sure if the advisory about the site services being temporarily closed is now listed, but it definitely was, as recently as earlier this afternoon.)  I don’t know who’ll ultimately field my question at the Eisenhower library, but that person was one of those real people furloughed without pay in the longest government shutdown in American history; he or she lost, at least temporarily, 35 days pay, and is probably worried about future possibilities of a repeat.

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How to react?  What to do?

During the shutdown I was troubled by my own relative lack of concern for those 800,000 or so Federal workers on the street as political pawns.  What could I do, especially since the problem did not appear to be in my backyard, or even much in my own state?  There wasn’t so much as a jar in which to leave a buck for someone’s cup of coffee.

Personally, I decided to give an additional  $100 donation to the local food shelf, Christian Cupboard Community Food Shelf.  There are other local needs.

And then I learned about the unknown researcher in KS who was affected.  I can’t help that person directly or even, probably, indirectly.  But this unknown person helps identify for me the present reality of our country.  We are not independent entities; we are all tied together, regardless of where we live.

My challenge to myself will be to use my personal learning experience into action in the very small universe which I identify with.  That includes you.

I’m only one person, but I am one.  And that is my “State of the Union”, Tuesday, January 29, 2019.

Let’s get to work.

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Postnote 1 – “Tax cuts”.  A year ago, in late March, I had my annual appointment with the tax man.  This year, the results were pleasant – a reduced tax bill thanks to Uncle Sam.  My tax guy included a summary sheet which held a caveat: don’t count on this cut continuing in future years.  The corporate tax cuts in 2017 were “permanent”; the tax changes for the rest of us sunset on a schedule some years out.  Who will pay for the “loss” for which we were (and some may still be this year) beneficiaries?  Of course, it will be ourselves, and it will be paid, according to some dreams, from cuts in “entitlements”, things like social security and medicare and programs for the most vulnerable, the people without a political voice of their own.  It won’t happen immediately, but in a few years we’ll look back and wonder “how could we allow this to happen?”  Well, we did, and we thought it was great when we got that refund last year….

Postnote 2 – Investigations, from Madeline: The below listing comes from easily identified public data that we see on the media every day.    

Just so we’re ALL clear:

Hillary Clinton Benghazi “Investigation”
4 years
0 indictments
0 convictions

Hillary Clinton Email “Investigation”
2 years
0 indictments
0 convictions

Trump-Russia Investigation

15 months

34 Indictments/Charges (Individuals) (and counting)

3 Indictments/Charges (Companies)
5 GUILTY pleas (and counting)
4 CONVICTIONS (and counting)

Indicted: Roger Stone
Indicted: Paul Manafort
Indicted: Rick Gates
Indicted: George Papadopoulos
Indicted: Michael Flynn
Indicted: Michael Cohen
Indicted: Richard Pinedo
Indicted: Alex van der Zwaan
Indicted: Konstantin Kilimnik
Indicted: 12 Russian GRU officers
Indicted: Yevgeny Prigozhin
Indicted: Mikhail Burchik
Indicted: Aleksandra Krylova
Indicted: Anna Bogacheva
Indicted: Sergey Polozov
Indicted: Maria Bovda
Indicted: Dzheykhun Aslanov
Indicted: Vadim Podkopaev
Indicted: Irina Kaverzina
Indicted: Gleb Vasilchenko
Indicted: Internet Research Agency
Indicted: Concord Management

Guilty Plea: Michael Flynn
Guilty Plea: Michael Cohen
Guilty Plea: George Papadopolous
Guilty Plea: Richard Pinedo
Guilty Plea: Alex van der Zwaan
Guilty Plea: Rick Gates

Over 191 Criminal Charges (and counting):

Conspiracy against the USA (2 counts)
Conspiracy to launder money (2 counts)
Bank fraud (8 counts)
Bank fraud conspiracy (10 counts)
Subscribing to false tax returns (10 counts)
Making false statements (6 counts)
Failure to file reports of foreign bank accounts (14 counts)
Unregistered agent of a foreign principal (2 counts)
False FARA statements (2 counts)
Subscribing to false tax returns (10 counts)

Assisting in preparation of false tax documents (5 counts)
Conspiracy to defraud the United States (13 counts)
Conspiracy to commit wire fraud and bank fraud (2 counts)
Aggravated identity theft (24 counts)

Peace,

Madeline

Green Book

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Last week our friend Kathy passed along a recommendation to see the Oscar-nominated film “Green Book”.  Yesterday we took the bait; it is a real winner.  See it if you can, if not in a theater, at home.  I’ve linked my google page on the topic so you can discover anything you want to know about the film, including reviews, etc.

The best commentary I saw is this one from Smithsonian Magazine.

The most succinct bits: it is about a 1962 tour to the south by black musician Don Shirley.  Such tours were fraught with peril in those days of death struggle to save segregation.   Shirley’s band was himself and two white men.  They traveled in two cars: the band in one, and Shirley with his white driver in the other.  The film is based on the true events of this tour which surfaced in places like Pittsburgh, Cedar Rapids, Memphis and Birmingham.

(Quite inadvertently I had my first experience with the deep south in the U.S. Army, on field maneuvers in North and South Carolina in 1962 and 1963.  We were preparing for Vietnam.  The experience was an eye-opener for this early-20s North Dakotan playing war in the rural precincts of both states.)

For some reason I remember the Don Shirley Trio.  Go to YouTube, and enter “Don Shirley Trio” and there are numerous entries.  Take your pick.

I thought back, during the film, to the unique opportunity I had in September, 1957, to hear Louis Armstrong and his band on tour in the middle of North Dakota, in tiny Carrington, perhaps 2.000 population at the time.  I was 17, in the front row on the Armory metal chairs.

I recall nothing untoward happening.  We certainly were treated to a first class concert by Armstrong and his group.  Someone had managed to book  the band, and they gave a great concert.

North Dakota had the exact same racial minority problem as anywhere else back then: it still plays out today.  There were very few African-Americans in NDakota then, though the Air Force bases were opening in Grand Forks and Minot.  Native Americans were more our racial victim of choice.  I was a senior in high school then, and I never gave any thought to where the band, including a female vocalist,  may have spent the night.  Most likely it was on their bus, enroute to their next gig, in perhaps Bismarck or Minot or such.

Years later, when I wrote about the experience, a writer for the Grand Forks Herald noted that the band was the first mixed racial group to stay in a Grand Forks hotel.  About that same time, I watched Ken Burns acclaimed “Jazz” series and heard a very angry Louis Armstrong, interviewed on television in Grand Forks, North Dakota, commenting on the then national news at Little Rock Central High School.

I like to think, now, that past is past.  I guess an honest observation is its not.  We aren’t as conscious of this today, but there still remains a lot of work.

Louis Armstrong program book cover, September 1957, Carrington ND.

Autograph, September, 1957

COMMENTS:

Mary: I also enjoyed Green Book and understand that this ‘guide’ still exists and is used in the south!

Marshall: Karen and I saw Green Book Friday night here in Petaluma.  We both enjoyed the movie. The movie was set in 1962 (the year we were married) and it really resonated with me. I was raised in Wichita, Kansas and did not experience the racial attitudes but understand that mentality.

Jeff: I saw it, liked it. thought both actors were great. Also the woman who plays the wife is great,
She had a part in “Mad Men” for a couple seasons and was great there too.

Lots of stuff surrounding the movie though…  the family of the musician says the book/screenplay is not accurate,
And also that having a black friend doesn’t make one not a racist.   And also that the Director has been accused of
Displaying his johnson to employees several years ago….

Anyway,  I liked the movie, and think small steps toward peace and justice are better than none at all.

I don’t know if you have HBO… but Mahershaka  Ali  has the lead role in third season of True Detective.   He plays
An ex Vietnam vet  Arkansas police investigator, the role has him play three ages of the same character.  The man
Really can act.  The story is excellent as well… has to do with a child abduction from the early 80’s… and the aftermath
Into the present day.    reminiscent of the Wetterling murder/abduction…

Response to Jeff: Granted, always, that movies take license with facts.  But I think the general tone of the film was very helpful.  I was especially taken by the ‘connection’ between working class Italians and thus African-Americans and everyone else for that matter.  Most folks have (had) no chance to experience the country club life (Birmingham) and live in the “Orange Bird” category just down the road, shall I say.  It did cause me to think again about what I thought, if anything, back in 1957 in Carrington, watching Armstrong and the group in person.  The side issues (where will they stay overnight?) flew completely over me.  They doubtless traveled by bus, which was not plush in those days. It is only in  recent years that the question has occurred to me.

Vice; the “Unitary Executive”

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Today is the 1st day of the 7th week following my heart surgery Dec. 4.  I’m told that most likely the body healing is near accomplished, but don’t rush anything.  Today I began a program of Heart therapy which will go on for some weeks.  I’ve started to drive solo again!  Think of being 16 again!  But I’m on a short leash – short trips around town.  Generally, health things seem to be going well.

I’ve spent these six weeks as a patient – much as inpatient.  The ongoing story is here.

With a few exceptions, the ‘outside world’ has been fairly foreign to me.  I was in a Minneapolis hospital bed watching the President announcing his threatened government shutdown on Dec. 11 to Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer and all of us.  He scares me, but does not impress.  He can do great damage.  Today was the 32nd day of that government shutdown, the longest in American history, with no end in sight.  There has been other ‘news’ of course.  Some scraps, from my point of view.

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We managed to take in three movies in the time since I’ve come home.

The most recent film I would highly recommend: Vice, about the years of then Vice-President Richard Cheney.  (Look up “Unitary Executive” as you prepare for the film.)

The film has distinctly mixed reviews (I’ve linked the Wikipedia compendium above).  Vice is billed as a “comedy”, though in my viewing, there is not much comedy about it, and its basic data is completely consistent with the reality of, particularly, 2001-2008..  I lived the Cheney years, and I know the history and the actors in it in personal tems.

My reason for urging folks to take the time to take in the film is that it gives an opportunity to reflect back to the past catastrophic (my opinion) post 9-11-01 United States, over which Vice-President Richard Cheney was dominant.   9-11-01 shook me into activism, and while I’m now 17 years older, and not into aggressive activism at this stage in my life, I still feel that 2001-2008 was an extraordinarily dangerous time for our democracy.  Watching the film I found myself often thinking about how good a model Cheney was for the current occupant of the White House…and how dangerous this model was and still is for our democracy.

I encourage you to see the film.

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A Word About Negotiations:  The painful chaos in the United States since Dec, 11 is never far from view, even if a person – like myself, currently – is (it appears) insulated from the consequences.  I don’t have to work without pay, yet.  It’s a benefit of being long retired in a society that years ago cared about working people like myself, through retirement programs, Medicare and the like.  It is hard to keep perspective, but every day the TV brings the message back, as it did while my residence was a hospital bed for 17 days in December, 2018.)   No one threatened me with being left out on the street, as has now happened with hundreds of thousands of federal workers.

Just Above Sunset summarized the reality of the U.S. very well this morning: Dealing in Pain.

I woke before seeing this commentary, and as I opened it I was thinking back to my own work days, specifically 1972, when I went from a classroom teacher, active in a teachers association, to teachers union executive director in the same school district, in a place which was just making the hard transition from ‘bring and beg’ ‘negotiations’, to a statutory right to collectively bargain contracts with exotic things like grievance procedures etc.

It was a hard transition for both sides.  Management was used to having all of the power; labor wasn’t accustomed to having any levers of power.  Abundant mistakes were make, but we all grew and adapted, and today, 47 years later, there is still collective bargaining in this state.  People work stuff out.  The last strike I recalls was in the early 1980s.  There were other threats, but people on both sides got the necessary deals done.  It is how problem solving works.

Not now, in Trumps idea of the U.S.  I saw all manner of negotiators and negotiating myself, for 27 years from 1972-2000.  I was one among many trying to o what I could to get something settled.  We were of all sorts.

I can think of no ‘negotiator’ more incompetent than Donald J. Trump.  He stands along, stuck in his own complete incompetence.

It should not have to be that way.

Trump is apparently incapable of realizing that the rules of engagement changed when he became President of the U.S. (and dictator to the entire world) now over two years ago.    Where he could rule by threats and edicts and rank dishonesty in his little New York City empire, he is now  trapped in a system existing for over 230 years, which encompasses far more than vanity towers including his name in large letters, and which has over its long history, in imperfect ways, adapted to a rule of law where everyone matters, at least a little.

We’ll never be perfect; but we’re far better than we could be.

How this will all play out remains to be seen.  At the moment, it doesn’t look promising.  All I know is that every single one of us has an important and active role to play in becoming part of the solution.  We have to actually do things beyond complaining, and our actions of necessity will have to be small and direct acts of down-home democracy.  There is an infinite list of possibilities.

Ultimately, I think – I hope – Trump will collapse in his own mountain of garbage.  Our country can do better than welcome a national bully who apparently cannot conceive of anything or anyone even somewhat equal to himself.  Let’s get to work.

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Post note: I have been less than attentive to my blog space.  Dec 4 I had major heart surgery; Dec. 21 I came home from the hospital.  I’ve been in recovery mode ever since.  At midnight Dec. 22, the U.S. Government shutdown began and as of today is completing its 32nd day, the longest shutdown in U.S. history.  The first shot about the pending shutdown came on national television on Dec 11, when President Trump said he was going to shut down the government if he didn’t get the requested 5.7 billion for his wall on the Mexican border.  He said clearly and publicly he would accept responsibility for the shutdown.  The rest is argument.

Here’s the wikipedia article on the issue.  (Wikipedia turned 18 a few days ago, and has become one of the credibility rock stars for on-line sources of public information.  It got a well deserved shout out in Sunday’s Washington Post opinion section.

The Wall

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Last night I decided to watch, in total, the positioning of Donald Trump, and the responses from Rep. Nancy Pelosi and Sen. Chuck Schumer.  I did watch every minute of the presentations.

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A few hours later came Just Above Sunset, which summarizes points of view from the pundit class about pertinent issues of the previous day.  You can read the summary, about “The Wall”,  here.  The e-mail following ‘Sunset’ was the morning opinion section of the Washington Post which, this morning, included six commentaries about the previous evening, only one of which gave the advantage to Trump; another one which fact-checked his every assertion.  This President is incapable of telling the truth, or negotiating in good faith, but to his admirers, that doesn’t seem to matter.

Mid-morning we went to the local indoor walking track, as I work at re-conditioning after recent heart surgery.  We were finishing the first lap of the perimeter when a man passed us by, and in passing commented on Trumps wonderful speech a few hours earlier.  I disagreed; the man reemphasized his support for Trump, and distaste for Democrats, and life went on.  It was a “life is too short” moment.

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The incident got me to thinking of a similar encounter in late winter 2014.  I was in rural ND, and stopped by to see my Uncle’s tax man.  A forlorn looking man had just come out of the same office and apparently  had just received some bad news about his personal tax situation.   I had no idea who the guy was, and I suspect the same was true for him, about me.  Just two individuals whose paths had crossed on a wintry morning.

The guy did volunteer an opinion: that Hillary Clinton should be in jail, presumably for causing him tax problems.  He was very specific.  She was the named perpetrator.  I was a stranger on the scene.

I said nothing.  It did occur to me that at the time, Hillary Clinton, had no policy position relating to tax policy or enforcement.  She had been U.S. Senator from New York for eight years (2001-2009), and certainly could have voted on tax policy but that was about it.  She had been Secretary of State from 2009-2013 in the Obama administration, and by 2014 was certainly interested in running for the presidency.  But that was about it.

Somehow that guy had been convinced that Clinton was his sworn enemy – without evidence.

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Last night, apparenly,  Trump worked his dark magic once again with the rube who expressed his opinion to us at the sports center.

I heard every minute of Trumps declarations; I had read the fact check analysis of his assertions about The Wall and the desperate need for it.  As always with Donald Trump, “smoke and mirrors” prevailed.  Nonetheless, as is commonly noted, as many as 40 percent of Americans believe his claims – lambs to the slaughter.  “Facts” matter only to the extent that the assertions are believed.  Reasoned argument is a waste of time.

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About all I could do this morning at the indoor track was to do what I did – disagree with the assessment and wish the guy a good day.  About the best I could hope to accomplish was to at least cast a slight doubt in the guys mind; perhaps causing him to think a bit before he makes the same kind of assertion again to the next mark.  I won’t change him into a champion of critical analysis, but perhaps I can have a little impact, anyway.

UPDATE 6 a.m. Jan. 10:  Here’s the newest Just Above Sunset, “The Sheer Force of His Mighty Will” .  Today is the presumptive visit to “The Wall” by Trump; and absent some miraculous development, the first official day of no U.S. federal paycheck to hundreds of thousands of government employees is tomorrow.

This brings to mind, “The Emperor Has No Clothes”.  A bully who negotiates through the “strength” of a bully is a terrible, impotent and dangerous negotiator.  I hope the American people, who elected this person, remember this at every future election for every office, anywhere.  We get exactly what we ask for.

A Thought:  During my hospitalization my good friends, the Krisch’s, gave me a book “A Nation of Nations, A Great American Immigration Story” by Tom Gjelten.  I have not yet opened the cover, but certainly will as the book seems very interesting and pertinent.  Do check it out.

Nancy Pelosi

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Yesterday I spent a bit more time than usual, watching the changing of the guard in the U.S. House of Representatives.  Yesterday was women’s day on capitol hill and, as House Speaker designate Nancy Pelosi noted, it will be during this Congress – the 116th – that the Centennial of Women’s Suffrage in the United States will be celebrated in 2020.

I happen to be partial towards Speaker Pelosi, as a leader and as a person.  Part of this might be that she’s about one month older than I.  The real reason is she has more than proven her mettle as a leader and as a negotiator over the years.  She will do very well as leader of the people’s house, the U.S. House of Representatives.

Of course, her very strengths are the reasons that she is scorned: an object of derision (which in her case is a mark of the respect she has earned over a long career).  She is a force to be reckoned with.

This day I have been thinking about other companion images related to our nations transition of power in this day of winner take all politics.

The best I could do was to remember the innocent days of “professional” wrestling, where horses of humanity like “Gorgeous George” and Hulk Hogan and their infinite variations assumed vicious and intimidating pre-match poses presumably to scare their opponent half to death before the first body slam of the day.  It was good theater, back in the day.  Heroes and villains.  Today it has been refined, but the old days had more authenticity, shall I say.

In today’s world, handlers of politicians and other set about the task of preening their anointed product or person, and destroying the opponent.  The process is almost surgically precise…and convincing.

And we judges of performance of our lawmakers choose the news media that in turn pick and choose the one or two minutes to define individuals or parties.  It takes no time whatever to notice selection bias at work.  It has happened already in the first 24 hours of the new Congress.

Caveat emptor.

It is a wonder that our system works at all.

Back in the day, Gorgeous George and Hulk Hogan and so many others stood nose to nose with their adversary in their most intimidating poses.  For we rubes, there was at least the theoretical possibility that one of the wrasslers might actually go after his adversary in person, mano a mano.

We could use more authenticity in todays politics.  I hope we see some of it in the coming months and years.

it’s long overdue.  You are a crucial part of the solution to a serious problem.

PS:  Some years ago I heard a most captivating talk by native American veteran Jim Northrup, whose service included boots on the ground service in the harshest days of Vietnam.

In his remarks, which you can view here if you wish (relevant video starts at about 12 minutes.) Northrup recalled the day that Hollywood tough guy John Wayne helicoptered into the field base at which he was stationed.  Of course, Wayne was a real Hollywood ‘star’, and the GIs were duly impressed.  Somebody suggested to Wayne that perhaps he might want to join a patrol as part of his visit.  Wayne quickly demurred, leaving the task. he said, to “the professionals”.  Wayne’s choice was very logical.  He had the luxury of making the choice.

PS II – A reader asks, “How are you?”

The surgery was a month ago, Dec. 4, thence 17 days in hospital – a long spell – since Dec. 21 at home.  I think I am doing reasonably well.  I walk under my own power, without walker, cane or other kind of assistance.  The longest distance thus far is about s city block.  The stroke, which was very much a concerning matter, seems to have had little residual effect, as assessed by occupational therapy earlier today.  Only in last few days have I really felt the appetite to do the kinds of things I used to like to do every day.  But I am now spending a couple of hours out each day.  I try to be realistic.  Things could be much worse.

COMMENT

from Fred: Re Nancy P: Your comments align well with my feelings about her. She got things done as Speaker when it came to passing difficult legislation. But Madam Speaker now faces a Trump rubber-stamp leading the senate, and loyal “Yes sirs!” from Trump Party followers. Sorry GOPers, it’s The Donald’s organization now, RIP Republican Party.

2019 – healing.

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UPDATE April 4, 2019

Today is four months post-surgery.  Within the last few days, Mick Jagger announced he’d be having valve replacement as I had.  He thinks he’ll be hopping around by summer.  I wish him well.  It takes time.

Each day I feel more “normal” but there’s still much room for improvement.  The first day of Spring, March 21, I did my first full-length walk on the route I usually take in the winter.  I completed the route in a little longer than “normal” for me, and a little bit more tired.  But it worked.  I’ve done the route three times – it’s still a bit chilly – and all other days have been indoors at Lifetime Fitness, doing about 45 minutes total on the stationary bike and treadmill.

At Church last Sunday I was enlisted to help out with ushering, and it went well.

Not 100% , but not 50% either – somewhere in between.

March 19 the Minneapolis Star Tribune had an article about the TAVR heart valve which initially was the one I was to receive.  TAVR Strib Mar 2019001 The article speaks for itself.  In the end, it was determined to replace my valve with a portion of a bovine valve – a standard procedure.  Whatever the case, there is a new valve which apparently is functioning better than the previous.

Nothing is without risk.  As the article points out, things can happen, (as they can happen to anyone, any time).  But all goes pretty well, and I have no regrets.  Next report, Lord willing, will be in a month, on my 79th birthday.

 (earlier posts continued at March 12 at the conclusion of Jan. 1 post, below.) 

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The pillow, Fairview Southdale Edina MN week of Dec 4, 2018

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Jan. 1, 2019: Happy New Year!

This morning I filed a reply to a Facebook post about Grandson Bennie from Robin and David:  “I am most grateful with Bennie’s visits at the time I was hospitalized and here at home in recovery. Thank you all so very much. 2018 had a long and uncertain ending; 2019 begins at least with promise. There is the famous song lyric of John Lennon “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” (Beautiful Boy). Apparently the specific quote traces back to Allen Saunders in a 1957 Readers Digest article. No difference, it is so right on. The three of you are models for me as 2019 begins. Let’s have a great year!”

Bennie’s accident and my heart diagnosis effectively happened on the exact same day, May 25, 2018, perhaps an hour apart.  For me, my primary physician noted something about my heart at my annual physical.  I have doctored at the same clinic since 1991, and I’m forever grateful to the annual physical which were, until this year, basically routine.

These days there are so many ways to communicate.  Cathy has done a great job with Caring Bridge (Bennie’s Caring Bridge is here). As the resident caregiver, Cathy is the one who makes sure I take the proper meds and she keeps the personal ship more or less on course.

I finally decided to use this blog as my personal platform, (most recent post Dec. 28.)  Facebook is another platform, which I infrequently use; good old-fashioned e-mail is one of my most common means of connecting person to person, dick_bernard@msn.com.  So it goes in these wired times.

Succinctly, I’m doing better.  As I commented to my sister, Sunday I successfully walked more than a city block each way to/from Church, the Basilica of St. Mary.  No walker, no cane, under my own power, no balance issues.  Of course this is no foot race.  On the other hand, my ticker worked just fine.  The small stroke seems hardly an impediment (though I still have to watch for typos ib tge [on the] keyboard.  (I’ve left two genuine typos for illustration.  It is vexing.)

Today we’ll go to a movie – Mary Queen of Scots.  It looks interesting.  At this New Years Day, 2019, normal seems to be slowly returning.

Yesterday was a visit to my primary care physician; a scheduled followup to the heart surgery.  Cathy came along – good to have other eyes and ears to deal with nuances of medications, some of which are new.  I was impressed with the thoroughness of the post op assessment.  You have to work to escape notice as the notes of each attending person at every level are on line and visible to the attending staff.  No ‘dog ate it” dodges!

Friday is the first appointment for the requisite therapies – PT and the like.  There is a cost to vacation.   This month seems to be a time of work; I’ll be somewhere in the near neighborhood, so no need for long drives.

More reporting as the month goes on.  I appreciate everyone, most especially Cathy for keeping me on track.

Happy New Year.

PS:  I have been irregular on blog posts, and, of course,  my personal circumstances have changed.  I do plan to continue publishing, and get back in to the regular routine.  Just check in once in awhile if you’re interested.  The calendar at right will reveal whether/which dates cover a published post.

March 12 and following, continued.

March 12, 2019: My post-operative appointment with the Cardiologist was yesterday.  She was the physician who started me on the march to surgery last October.  I admit to being nervous beforehand.  I didn’t know what would be said.  There had been echocardiogram, blood test and x-ray before the appointment. The report was very positive (I had to ask for a second opinion, and Cathy concurs – she was there).  Succinctly, the doctors Instructions:  “1.  No changes to medications..2.  No problem with traveling.  3.  I will plan on seeing you back in my office in six months.”  The surgeon who did the surgery on Dec. 4 stopped in unexpectedly.  No, not because I’m a prize-winning “specimen”; rather to take a look at a minor post-op issue.  The cardiologist said a reasonable expectation was to give the recovery process a year.  I’ve heard that from others who’ve “been there, done that”.  Now, basically, it’s up to me.  Mental and physical activity are encouraged.  I think I know what I need to do, and the coming spring (some day fairly soon, I hope, will get me outside again.)  Recovery is a team process.  I’ll try to do my part!

Thanks for reading.  Check in once a month or so.

March 4, 2019:  Three months ago today was the open heart surgery that still manages my life, and probably will continue to manage in the longer term.

Coincidentally, in today’s mail came two items laying out billings related to the surgery and after care.  Thank goodness for Medicare and Blue Cross/Blue Shield supplement that we are fortunate to have.  I haven’t tallied up the total at this point.  Most likely out of pocket will be minimal, particularly compared with the “retail” bill.

I last reported on Feb. 4, one month ago.  The recovery process continues.  A week or so ago I gave an informal assessment to a friend: I’m probably at about 50% pre-surgery now.  Actually, this is an it depends number.  Today I was at the gym, and for the last few times have essentially performed at pre-surgery levels on the tread mill.  But I know I’m not anywhere near 100% yet.  My norm used to be an hour a day walking outside.  With our record-setting winter, such has been impossible to even imagine.

Feb. 25 I had a couple of appointments at Fairview Southdale Hospital, and asked Cathy to show me the “the scene of the crime” – the ICU and Hospital Rooms where I had spent the first three or four days after surgery on third floor.  Just imagine a hospital room where your environment is a bed, and your horizon is mostly the ceiling and the wall in front of you, by yourself….  For a short time I had a roommate, but he was in about as bad shape as I.  I’m normally not much at casual talk, so being quiet was not unusual.  But it was good to at least see the places I resided.  I likely won’t forget the different world one lives in coming out of anesthesia.   Burned in my mind’s eye is the outside world which I saw once in awhile from the hospital bed.  It was nothing more than another part of the hospital building, maybe a couple hundred feet away, but it was the real world!

February was Cardiac Rehab month at Woodwinds Hospital, which is only about three miles from here.  There were 18 or so one-hour sessions, each supervised by a physical rehab therapist.  Maximum patients were five, each with one therapist.  The basic equipment was treadmill and other similar equipment, and weights.  The objectives seemed to be two: supervised activity so we got a notion of what we could do; medical management with heart and blood pressure, etc., monitoring to make sure the ticker was working.  I gave them highest compliments.  Before the therapy, I had no idea what it was about.  Now I do.  I recommended it to a friend this morning.

Before Woodwind Rehab was rehab in a satellite clinic building and, of course, the initial rehab at Fairview Acute Rehab center.  Each place was staffed by remarkable people, who deal with broken folks like myself – relearning, sometimes, the bare basics of living, starting over…..

I have been getting into more of a ‘normal’ routine.  Only recently have I started to re-claim my place at Caribou Coffee – a place I’ve been at almost every morning for near 19 years.  I was there this morning from about 6:30 – 8:30, which was my ‘standard’.  I am a creature of habit.  But I had almost never been back there till the last week or so.

As mentioned above, I’ll likely be at Lifetime Fitness, where we have a membership, but had seldom used for a long while – I liked to walk outside.  I will do the outdoors, but also indoors.  There is also an indoor walking opportunity a few miles away at the Bielenberg Sports Center – three soccer fields under one roof.

I’m not pretending all is taken care of.  Tomorrow morning is a sleep study consult.  I don’t think I’m a candidate for C-PAP, but I’ll wait for the consult (not a sleep study tomorrow, just a prescribed consult).  The Sleep Study Center is across the parking lot from the coffee shop, so close by.  Cathy will be along.

For a week, one to go, I’m wearing what’s called a Zio-Patch.  It records every heart beat.  It’s ZIO XT if you want to look it up.    I think they are mostly monitoring to make sure AFIB or the like is controlled.  (I’ve never had AFIB, but it was a post-operative complication for a short time.  I’ve observed nothing unusual.  It will be interesting to see what it shows.

I’m getting more into normal routine, though I think I’ll slowly become somewhat less engaged in my assorted passions, like Citizens for Global Solutions, French-American heritage and the like.  I’m closing in on 79, so if I have a few more years left, I want to do other kinds of things as well as the tried and true.  I know myself too well, however, to predict that I’ll be a couch potato.

One closing note, hopefully with a good outcome:  on February 4, the exact date I did the last update, our friend J. Drake Hamilton was discovered unconscious near her home in St. Paul.  She had slipped on ice, apparently, and had a very severe head injury.  As I write, she is slowing rejoining the world.  She’s a brilliant climate science person, and has been involved at highest levels, but to my knowledge, she has not yet said her first word since the accident.  Visit her Caring Bridge site at least once.  She is walking the same kind of walk Grandson Bennie took, and is still taking.  [PS, March 5: I just read Pat’s update on J, and it seems like yesterday was a remarkable day among every remarkable day in recovery.  Having experienced Physical and Occupational Therapists at several locations the last three months, I can say from experience, they  are absolutely remarkable people, doing their own kind of magic!]

Count your Blessings.  And thanks to everyone for your support and interest.

Consider donating to Caring Bridge.  It is a remarkable service.  I wasn’t much aware of it till Bennie’s injury became noteworthy.  His site remains on-line here.  The last update was Nov. 20.  I need to remind Robin and Dave to add to it.  Bennie’s is a continuing story.

Feb. 4, 2019 Yesterday (Sunday) I was at the Men’s Retreat I have attended the last four years.  It seemed a good time to do a “selfie” about the actual person a few weeks after heart surgery.  It took a few tries…here’s the one I decided to “launch”.

Dick Bernard, “selfie”, Prior Lake MN Feb 3, 2019

Right before going to the Retreat, I made a brief post on the occasion of the beginning of “Heart Month”.  If you wish, it is here.  The recovery process continues.

Jan. 29, 2019. Today begins the 9th week after the surgery.  Yesterday I was at Cardiac Rehab (part of the recovery program – there are five in my group, and we do an hour at 8 a.m. M-W-F) and the therapist was introducing me to weights.  She asked me to put my arms over my head.  I told her I’d been told not to do that.  Well, she said, you’re more than six weeks post-operative and it’s fine.  It was a good reminder, I’m sure not an unusual one to people in the same boat I’ve been: “you’re healing.  Time to try something new….”   Day by day, confidence returns, a little at a time.

I write in the first day of subzero – way below zero – weather in my area.  The norm for everyone here will be limitd mobility for three days or so; stay home if you don’t need to go out.  Cardiac Care is only two or three miles away; the walking place not much further.  We’ll see what the a.m. shows: the class is at 8 a.m.

I’m not feeling 100% yet, but really feeling pretty good.  There is really not much else to report.  Life is beginning to seem like it’s returning to normal.

Jan. 19, 2019.  I returned home from the Rehab Center on December 21, 2018.  It was great to be home.  Of course this was also in the midst of Christmas-New Years season.  This particular end of year was completely dominated by earlier events in December, and as most any family knows, there are visits, events, etc., which make up the family rituals called, usually, “Christmas”.  I deeply appreciated all of the visits, etc., but the healing process was really delayed until after Jan. 1.  “Christmas time” was more than a bit foggy.

Today, it is a month and a half since the surgery on Dec. 4 – it seems like yesterday…and like a year ago – odd how time is both compressed and extended in my minds eye.  The most recent medical appointment was yesterday.  I think that if you actually saw me these days I would look and act basically the same as before.  I hardly used things like the walker and a chair for the shower, and never used a cane.  I seem to have passed muster on the assorted sensory and cognitive tests.  I’ve already walked near a mile in one outing (which may have been a bit much, though I’m glad I did). Yesterday I took a brief solo drive in my car (with Dr. knowledge and permission).  I did just fine.  But extended forays are a ways in the future yet.  I’m not pretending that all is the same as it was Dec. 3, 2018….  Healing is a process.  One day at a time….

Yesterday was appointment with Neurologist at University of Minnesota Health..  His function was to assess my “cerebrovascular accident (CVA) due to bilateral embolism of middle cerebral arteries  and Gait disorder.”  Of course, I was “eye witness” to this small stroke not long after I began to come out of the fog of the surgery: I had no ability to use my left leg – it is an indelible memory.

There was an immediate brain scan, and yesterday we had a look at the results of that scan.  It is interesting to watch one’s brain on parade on the computer monitor, with little markers attached to show what had happened where at the time of the surgery.

Dr. took me through all of the usual tests yesterday – hand-eye; peripheral vision, reflex, walking and the like.  Best I know, I passed everything easily (always a point of nervousness as I age).  We talked a  bit about stuff – open heart surgery is not like a dentist appointment!  Next week is complete echocardiography (which is where this adventure began back in the summer of 2018), with Ziopatch monitor, probably to keep track of the early concern of AFIB (never before a problem for me).  They drew some blood for Methylmalonic Acid and vitamin B12 assessment (apparently no problems).

(I noted the clinic was about a block from where first wife Barbara died July 24, 1965 of Kidney Disease.  Back then it was the main University of Minnesota Hospital; the structure remains, of course, but has been extensively changed over the years.  It is still a teaching hospital, as it was then.)

And then back home.

I am thankful to be around at this stage in my life, and feeling better each day.  Enjoy and use well the time you have left.  We are all on the trip.

Here’s a good reminder: The Station001

Possibly down the road a piece, I’ll attempt to describe how life looked to me as a patient.  Possibly….

*

Jan. 12, 2019:  Jan. 4 was the one month anniversary of heart surgery.  Jan. 12 seemed like far more than a month.  Looking at it reflectively I’m actually making progress.

Four mornings ago I walked a full quarter mile indoors at the local Bielenberg Sports Center, where the perimeter (the walking area) of the three indoor soccer fields is just under a quarter of a mile.  That is one-tenth of what I used to walk, (at a slower pace, so far); But I now have a goal, and for me announcing the goal is a good incentive.   The second day I walked two laps; yesterday, three.  Yesterday I took a break due to other appointments (four days next week I have one appointment or another); today I was back to the routine of slowly regaining strength and confidence and doing a 4-lap session….  I’m no hero at fitness, but as anyone knows, if you’re going to improve, there is a certain amount of “pain” involved.  On I go.

The last few days the occupational and physical therapy folks have checked me out.  Things like balance and the like seem in pretty decent shape; a little out of kilter in some instances due to the stroke.  Actually doing something (activity) will be the best remedy, it seems.

There is little else to be said, than to repeat the gratitude I have earlier expressed for the entire ‘system’ – family, friends, professionals, on and on.

I will continue to do updates from time to time, all at this page.  Check in once in awhile.  The first will be later today.

Let me leave it at that.

I’ll keep you apprised.