#581 – Dick Bernard: Father's Day 2012

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This is one of those days when nostalgia reigns, and all manner of inspirational stories are related about people who made a difference in one way or another in someone else’s life.
Today, the examples will be Dad’s (of which I am one several times over).
My thoughts today are to three recent and completely unrelated events that involve Dads. For some reason, they all become related, for me.
One is a funeral I attended a little over a week ago for a 77 year old man in rural Wisconsin.
The second is about a not guilty verdict announced just a couple of days ago in the death of a tiny girl in January, 2011.
Both are relatives of mine.
The third is an e-mail from a stranger, received yesterday, with a comment about another Dad, years ago.
Each deserve a few words on this day.
The 77 year old, Dave, was a father, grandfather and great-grandfather who was highly respected in his family and community. His death was expected and, I’d say, “normal” in the day-to-day course of things.
It was said at the funeral, and I’ve known this for years, that Dave’s Dad died before Dave was a year old, as a result of one of those horrible accidents that sometimes interfere with life. His Mom, a wonderful lady who died two years ago at 100, never remarried, and Dave had to live without a Dad of his own. Of course, this isn’t true, because in his constellation there were all sorts of male role-models from which he was able to construct his own model of being a Dad.
Of course, we all do this, male and female alike: our biological parents are our base….
The second is about two men, one a father, the second a grandfather, whose lives were turned upside down by an event in mid-January 2011 which I remember vividly from my wife’s exclamation when she answered the phone that morning: “oh, no!”.
Their child and grandchild, Brooke, not yet one, was completely normal one day, and a few days later was dead. I was at that funeral too – a church full of people; a tiny casket up front.
There was, in this instance, an allegation that Brooke’s babysitter had contributed to the babies death, and as such events happen, an investigation led to a charge of manslaughter, and ultimately to a jury trial which ended last Friday evening with a verdict, “not guilty”. It has been very hard for the family. Grandpa and Grandma had become the babysitter of Brooke’s sister the following year, and were, of course, at the entire trial with all that brings.
The acquittal was a prominent story in yesterday’s Twin Cities newspapers, and was on TV news the previous night. Of course, such accounts include quotes and descriptions which make the case live on….
Prosecutors are very cautious in bringing charges; even so, it is said, they get convictions only 90% of the time. That’s what our legal system is for: to hear and consider evidence.
It can be said that our legal system worked in this case, and it did, but in the rubble of the court trial any idea of closure or reconciliation, of moving on, is at minimum delayed…for everyone, on all sides.
I wonder, is there a better way for our society to deal with such tragedies? I don’t know the answer. Justice was done, case closed, but every person is a victim; everyone lost, including the ‘winner’.
Which leads to the last story, from a woman in Las Vegas who I’ve never met, and probably will never meet, who found me through a random google search about a family history matter.
She’s in a search for family history of her own family, and for reasons irrelevant to this writing, she took the ‘shot in the dark’ and asked me. She’d found this blog post as she searched the internet.
Perhaps the easiest is to just convey her second message from yesterday at 3 p.m. in her own words:
“Dick, I am so glad to hear your response! I am excited—–I am taking a road trip and going to be in the NE area of North Dakota looking for my grandmothers grave as I have never seen it—-nor has my mother———when [my grandmother Beatrice] died at age 39 [in January, 1927] my mother was her youngest of 10 children—my grandfather [Byron] moved to [a town in] Washington state and the ladies of the town told him he had to give the baby to foster care which he did and she stayed with them…till she got married–they had moved to Spokane and that is where she was raised. [My grandfather] had his own woodmill and evidently was quite successful— he died 2 months before I was born. Her biological family stayed in close contact tho and so now we still all know each other well. I will contact the people you gave reference to. […] Thank you, thank you, you have made my day and given me hope.”
Life goes on with its own unknown twists and turns.
Best we can do is to try to do our best.
Something to think about, this Father’s Day.

Daughter Heather and I on the light rail after the Minnesota Twins-Philadelphia Phillies game June 13. Our side lost 9-8, and we were tired, but it was fun, anyway.


DEDICATION: This post is especially dedicated to my friend Richard, also called Lee, who is a very proud father and grandfather, and is nearing the end of his life. Lee is a heroic figure to me.

#580 – Dick Bernard: Election 2012 #24. I'm in….

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I don’t consider myself a political junkie. I am liberal Democrat but I am not, nor have I ever been, heavily immersed in party decision making.
I do think that there is little more important than active involvement in the task of selecting good reasonable people to represent us all in all elective offices, and then supporting them. So, I try to engage in one way or another so as to be a reasonably well informed and aware citizen, and to try to have something responsible to say in political conversations…and not avoid those conversations.
My core belief: we are a complex country, and we are ill served by attempts to dominate or control by fringe ideologies. If that makes me sound anti-Tea Party and the like, so be it. These are polarized times, and we will rue the day we lose control to right wing ideologues (the ones who are by far the best funded, and money does talk).
This past week seems to have been the week I decided to dive in to the pool of Election 2012 activism.
There are endless ways to be constructively engaged, and here are some of mine, and what I learned.
There are a number of candidates I know I will support. Not all are listed below.
This week I met with my preferred candidate for state legislature, JoAnn Ward, a lady I have known for 14 years who is very well grounded in this community, but has not run for office before (every one who’s ever been elected to anything had to run for the first time, sometime, so that is never a liability, in my opinion.)
JoAnn didn’t tell me anything I didn’t know this week. Running for office, even for state House of Representatives, is an immense task. There is a great deal to learn. Many issues, many opinions on the issues. When one takes a step into running for office, one is made aware, instantly, that this is not an arm chair activity. There is a lot of very hard work.
Also this week I went to a fund raiser for another local candidate, Ann Marie Metzger. Ann Marie loves public engagement. But there are limits.
I asked a single question at the fundraiser: how many doors are there in our legislative district (candidates need to get out and doorknock.) The answer came back quickly “about 24,000”.
There is no way a single candidate can physically knock on every door in his or her legislative district, even if only a House of Representatives district. Other helpers are needed to do the task. And it is an unreasonable criteria to demand that the candidate actually stop at your doorstep to qualify for your vote. It would be nice, but impossible to achieve.
Of course, candidates at all levels need money. Unless you’re the Koch Brothers or other big money types, money for things like campaign literature, mailing expense, etc., does not grow on trees. it has to come from individual donations.
Ditto, the political parties do not have full-to-overflowing money trees. Money is needed. It needs to come from citizens.
If a candidate you like is going to have any chance of election, he or she needs your physical and economic help, and not $10 two weeks before the election.
We are electing people at all levels to make our society work. We are not wise to sit the election out, arms crossed, pretending we’ll be “independent” and then at the last minute decide who gets our vote. It’s risky business.
Then there’s the matter of exposure of the candidates to public view. Today I did my first parade, in the unit for Senator Amy Klobuchar in the neighboring town of Cottage Grove. This one was touch and go for rain out, but the weather cooperated and it was a good parade.
There were a dozen parades in Minnesota today, the coordinator of our unit said. The candidates obviously cannot be at every event, and that’s why there are an assortment of volunteers carrying signs, maybe looking uncomfortable. But there to say “I support this candidate”.
While walking the parade route, I do “people watch” the folks along the sidewalks. They’re at various places and stages, but hopefully they at least see us go by.
In a few weeks we’ll be at four months to the election.
Get in, and help out!
(photos, at Cottage Grove Parade June 16. click to enlarge.)

People watching from the parade. 3M won the prize for most effective handouts along this particular route. A good idea....


Some of my fellow paraders June 16, 2012


An Indian Runner Duck was part of our parade unit. Novelties like the duck, and, of course, kids, add a great deal....


...and don't forget those partisan dogs, wearing a candidates tee-shirt!


For past and future posts on this political season, enter the words Election 2012 in the search box.

#578 – Dick Bernard: Election 2012 #23. Politics of Losing…and Winning

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The weekend just past was hot, at least as for us in this area. The temperature was in the low 90s till Sunday night rainfall moderated it.
Some of our grandkids were involved in post-school year athletic activities.
Over at the local high school, first-grade Ben competed in several events, including successfully passing the baton in the second leg of the 4×100 race. That afternoon, 10 year old Parker was part of a team that played five baseball games in a tournament on Saturday and Sunday, and won third. We saw the third game. He’s a good competitor, Parker is. (see photos, click to enlarge) His team is a good one: they work well together; there’s a sense of co-ownership which you can “feel” as a spectator. They’re a team.

Ben passes the baton at the end of the second leg of the 4x100


Parker on first.


Sunday we missed another grandsons baseball game because of a competing event: another grandsons 12th birthday party. Ted’s cake was decorated with the symbol Pi (of 3.1416). His gig is numbers and math. His sister, Kelly, showed off some pottery she was making in some summer class.
And on it went. It was a good weekend.
I contrast this with what we witnessed again this weekend: the lose-lose talk of politics as war.
The Republicans are proclaimed to be riding high because of Walker’s win in Wisconsin; and a verbal gaffe – a single sentence – of President Obama was expertly snipped out and exploited by his enemies this weekend. Unfortunately, contemporary Politics is Civil War, and I think the piece I wrote a few days ago is worth reading and sitting with as you ponder the next few months of bloody battles.
Politics is a team activity. We are all in teams: a country, a state, a legislative district, a local community. We cannot survive as a bunch of individuals who choose to watch the game, or not, and then decide at the last minute whether or not we should even show up to mark a single ballot for some candidates on November 6. Politics as Civil War, which is what is has become, is not healthy to Team U.S.A., Team State of Minnesota, Team World….
This weekend there were two particularly impressive competitors I saw.

Fan at Parker's game going around showing us the score.


Finishing the race


The little girl, doubtless somebodies sister, wasn’t content to just sit on the sidelines, but felt a need to participate in some way in the game she was watching, and her way was to help announce the score to the rest of us.
But it is the boy in the last picture that wins my prize: he was dead last in his 440 heat, way dead last. But he had absolutely no intention of dropping out, of quitting.
I saw him afterwards, and he was still tired. But he wasn’t a defeated tired, and that’s a critical distinction.
He’d run the race, he’d finished, and of all the competitors I saw this weekend, he’s the one who won top prize in my book. He’s the winner.
There is a huge amount of stake in the 2012 election. Those little kids in the above pictures, and their cohort, everywhere on the planet, are the ones who will benefit, or be damaged, by our wisdom or stupidity; our short or long-term vision for our future.
At the very least, get on the court, and stay there till the finish line. Politics is not a spectator sport.
For other entries on my view of Politics this season, just enter Election 2012 in the search box.

#577 – Dick Bernard: Election 2012 #22. The Wisconsin Recall Election. Some Musings Driving U.S. Highway 61

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As it happened, Tuesday morning June 5 came an unexpected phone call from one of my relatives in Wisconsin. Marion, 95, called to say that her nephew, Dave, had died on Sunday at age 77 “and the funeral is tomorrow at 10:30 in Hazel Green”.
They had misplaced my phone number and don’t do computer, thus the late notice. They didn’t expect anyone to come, but these were people well known to me, and I decided I wanted to go. (Dave was life-long and well known and respected in this area of Wisconsin. There were perhaps 200 at the funeral, and 700 signed the book at the wake the previous evening.)
So, on Wednesday, June 6, the day after the Recall election, I embarked down U.S. Highway 61 from my St. Paul suburb to within a mile of Illinois, across from Dubuque, Iowa, perhaps 100 miles west of Madison.
I was gone from 5 a.m. to 8:30 p.m., including from 8 a.m. to 5:30 in Wisconsin, driving alone, no radio, no television, no newspaper, no computer and no other data source.
Not a word was mentioned about the Wisconsin election that had climaxed the day before.
At home, I gathered only that there was no recall of Governor Walker, that one Wisconsin Senator had been recalled, and that Senatorial election has reshaped the balance of power in the Wisconsin State Senate – a very big deal, if true.
THOUGHTS
First and foremost: I’m not here to second-guess tactics in this election. I worked an entire career with people organizations and have seen the best made plans fail; and the worst, succeed. You might be able to make a perfect ball-bearing, but when people are involved, all bets are off, for all the reasons any human being knows.
As I write this, after noon on Thursday, June 7, I have not, on purpose, read anything, even comments from friends, about the recent Wisconsin election.
I have done this in hopes to keep focus on my own few observations.
As I drove the stunningly beautiful 500 mile round-trip on major highway U.S. 61 yesterday, about half in Minnesota, half in Wisconsin, I decided to notice what I could about the ‘residue’ of the election along the way (mostly signs), and to think about the implications of the just-completed election, and not only for Wisconsin. (For the record, I do not recall a single person saying a single thing about the election. Nothing. And I saw a lot of people at the funeral.)
Here are some thoughts, and a few photos:
1. SIGNS: I was clearly in Walker country in southwest Wisconsin. But there were very few signs, and I didn’t see a single Billboard. (My trip was only a few hours into the first day after the election. Some signs may have already been taken down, but I doubt many had been moved.)
The Walker signs were (in my mind) pretty brilliant in their very simple message (see photos, click to enlarge).

Hazel Green WI June 6, 2012


I didn’t see any large Barrett signs. The roadside ones were small and simple. But there were one or two pretty nicely done hand-made signs like the below two-sided sign. One Walker supporter had a nicely done hand-made sign as well.

Street side in Viroqua WI June 7, 2012


Two-sided sign north of Boscobel WI June 6, 2012


The other side....


I am not a fan of campaign signs, largely because they grow like weeds prior to the election, and overwhelm each other and underwhelm the potential viewer, at least in my view. In this single issue election (with some Senate recalls in some areas of WI), I do think the signs served a very useful purpose, especially the hand-made ones.
I also noticed three themes (at least as I translate them:
A) the Walker signs said, I’d contend, “we elected him, he should have his chance”. (I’m pretty sure there were a lot of Walker voters June 5 who probably thought he and the Republicans over-reached when they took control. But they weren’t willing to politically execute him in favor of someone unknown. I don’t think the negative anti-Milwaukee ads had that much impact on most voters.)
B) The Recall signs were a much harder “sell”: “we want him unelected” without a convincing reason that the alternative would be any better is not an easy argument to accept. Recall is a weapon to be very sparingly used. On the other hand, Walker was elected because lots and lots of Democrats in Wisconsin stayed home and didn’t even bother to vote in 2010. Voter turnout matters a great deal. Turnout, turnout, turnout.
C) Elect Barrett signs weren’t (and probably couldn’t be) very convincing, even though I’m sure Barrett was a good candidate. There had to be a candidate, and he was the one chosen, at the last minute. He was the anti-Walker candidate, not the pro-Wisconsin one.
2. WINNERS AND LOSERS. I can’t see any big “winners” in the exercise just past, but I do think there are “losers”, including Scott Walker, Big Money and the Republican Party.
Wisconsin was big moneys first really major experiment, and while it will claim victory in Walker’s remaining in office, Walker’s power has been eroded, as has his reputation with the general population (my opinion). And he has even less power in moving his agenda in the state. The next two years will be long ones for him.
Those who organized the Recall effort have a huge opportunity if they don’t allow themselves to become dis-spirited. It will be hard to find a resident of Wisconsin who doesn’t have at least an idea about what the issues are. This is a time for community dialogue, and the winner will be those who facilitate these dialogues without set agendas. Communities need to talk this through as communities, not just strategy sessions of ‘power’ people.
In my mind, BIG MONEY LOST in this election. Given the huge disparity in financial resources available, and given #1, it should have been a walk in the park for Walker. Plus, the providers of the Big Money are now public figures in their own right, where they would prefer to hide in the shadows. Hard to believe, also, they, too, have limited resources to spend on such things like state-by-state campaigns. They are not invincible.
3. THINKING BACK IN MINNESOTA HISTORY. On the return trip I found myself thinking back to another last minute election I witnessed here in Minnesota. It was the U.S. Senate election in 2002, when in the wake of the Wellstone’s tragic death, Walter Mondale agreed to stand for election in Paul’s stead.
One can hardly imagine a candidate more qualified than Mondale: former Minnesota Senator, Vice-President of the United States, candidate for President, Ambassador to Japan. And still very much alive today, 10 years later. One can hardly imagine a better stand-in, and a more compelling reason to vote for a candidate in the wake of a tragedy. But when all the votes were counted that November day, his opponent won.
And that is history.
See also previous post, here.
For other related posts, simply put Election 2012 in search box.
UPDATE June 7 5 p.m.:
Dick: I am less and less inclined to look at macro and short-term analyses, and more and more inclined to look at the longer-term and micro (personal) aspects of this and any election, for that matter. It was actually good to drive through that rural country and try to imagine how people in those rural houses and little towns went about making decisions on things like who to vote for on Tuesday, or whether to vote at all. Then there was that large crowd at the church in Hazel Green for the funeral. How do they decide? A lot of it, I’d guess, comes down to feelings and relationships, with a very large dollop of sloppiness and disinterest mixed in. The conversations, including on this network, are very, very important, more so than some grand game-plan, or what someone shoulda done. But, that’s just my opinion, as everyone has a right to have! (I also did a post on Election Day, which I haven’t linked, but which is pertinent to this conversation, I feel. It’s here.)

#574 – Dick Bernard: Election 2012 #19. One week to the Recall Election in Wisconsin

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UPDATE June 1, 2012: I posted the below on Tuesday May 29, and there are quite a number of comments at the end.
This is an election with far more than routine long-term implications, far beyond “right” vs “left”, “conservative” vs “liberal” or “union” vs “right to work”. This one, with “divide and conquer” to the absolute max, is the ultra-rich and powerful versus the rest of us, which means almost all of us, including everyone I know.
We sent $50 “across the border” so we’ve now become part of the outside money. It doesn’t quite match the $500,000 from the “swift-boat” guy in Houston TX or the $500,000 from the Beloit billionaire (see blog)- and these are only the contributions to the sitting Governor which they have to disclose (see Minneapolis Star Tribune front page article for June 1 here.) There’s pots full of “swift boat” money that doesn’t need to be disclosed as to source.
The only people who will see this blog of mine are people from the middle class – working people like I am, representing the overwhelming vast majority of potential voters in the upcoming election. In the next five months, starting Tuesday, we determine our fate…
Pay attention. Get involved.
(click on photos to enlarge)

Wisconsin State Capitol March 4, 2011


Less than a week from now the Wisconsin recall election will be history. Those of us in the border area media markets, sitting much like spectators at a parade, will have been inundated by the same half or non-truths as our neighbors across the St. Croix, but we won’t have an opportunity to vote for any candidates. That is as well, because those policy makers elected don’t make policy for our own state.
Those in Wisconsin will have to live with their decision next Tuesday.
We outsiders simply have to put up with the Wisconsin circus for a few more days. And in the process we can learn what’s ahead for us in the coming months.
It has long been known that Citizens United money would come in by the gazillions of dollars for this election. I call it “Citizens United” since it arrives by the boatload largely from very wealthy interests and is essentially anonymous. It is what pays for those ads, the assorted (and abundant) “dirty tricks” we’ve read about, and will continue to hear about through June 5.
Then, like the aftermath of a tornado, on June 6 Wisconsin will sift through the rubble to see what is left standing.
A couple of weeks ago, more or less at the same time, I heard two pieces of information about Wisconsin that seem to well frame the over-arching Election Issues for the election.
1. There is the now famous “divide and conquer” video of Gov. Scott Walker meeting with the billionairess from Beloit; the lady who wanted assurance that her contribution would lead to a permanent “red state”. I’m sure the video is readily available, and anyone can look it up, very easily.
2. Then came the flap over the apparent reluctance of the Democratic National Committee (DNC) to cough up $500,000 to at least help match the tornado of money coming in to support Walker. If memory serves, estimates were that the Republican-Democrat campaign money differential might be as much 25 to 1.
I was less than impressed by both narratives.
“Divide and Conquer” is a frequently used strategy, and it never works, except in the short term.
Perhaps one of the worst examples of a supposedly successful “divide and conquer” strategy is the disaster that has been Wisconsin since Jan. 2011. Scott Walker and his party won by division. That is all. But they conquered nothing, at least not permanently. The people of Wisconsin are the losers, and if they have some collective intelligence they will repudiate what they’ve had to live through, and not tolerate such nonsense again. Whoever wins next week will inherit abundant anger from those who lost. There is no “win” for anyone.
As for the Big Daddy (or Big Party) Cash Cows coming to the rescue of Walker of the Dems, I can’t see how that helps either.
Conventional wisdom these days (which is not very wise, in my opinion) is that you win and lose by dollars spent on media advertising and the like.
But where the election next week will be won or lost is by the presence (or lack of) local “boots on the ground”, and, then, people actually showing up at the polls next Tuesday.
Daddy (or Mommy) Warbucks can have ships full of money to dispense, but in the end they are – each of them, including that billionaire – a single vote, just like everybody else. Those who vote uninformed, or stay at home and don’t vote at all, are de facto voting by their absence.
We’ll probably spend a few bucks across state lines (I emphasize “few”), but in the end, the win or the loss will come from the people of Wisconsin who actually show up on Tuesday. It is for this reason that I had little sympathy for the crew that wanted a national group to come in and rescue local people from their own necessary efforts. We’ll never succeed in getting money in politics under control, if we try to win every battle by money alone.
Next week we’ll know what Wisconsin decided.
And in a few months we’ll have our own demonstration in our own state of whether we care enough, or not.

Governors Office, Wisconsin State Capitol, Madison, March 4, 2011


(For other election 2012 commentaries, simply enter the words election 2012 in the search box, and other postings will be identified.)
UPDATES (COMMENTS)
Andrena: We’re 85% on the same page. I still believe the DNC should have given the WI Dems what they requested. The money could have been targeted to the GOTV efforts & media. Moreover, it would have been nice if the DNC could have strategically produced media ads ready to go regardless of who won the primary. In any event, I’ve signed up to phone bank this weekend. I don’t think I would be as effective door knocking in Hudson as an African American woman with MN tags might not go over well with the local folk. My phone voice is flat – aa midwestern/Canadian accent as I’ve often been told.
Fred: Thanks for the report from the front and your response. You’ve got to feel sorry for Wisconsin and its people. Every state has similar political divisions these days but this already-partitioned territory has to publicize the news to the nation. And when it’s over, the anger of the losers will deepen.
Jeff: (1) Just spent the weekend in Madison. And previous weekend in Hayward.
Walker signs are all over most of rural Wisconsin, barely any Barrett signs seen up en route to either city in our drives.
I didn’t watch much local tv, so cannot say about advertising.
Turnout is expected to be 60 to 65 pct, the recall proponents will need to get every last vote.
Polls are pretty much the same… Walker has a 4% lead with the margin of error 4%.
My daughters boyfriend, is a firefighter and EMT, he is canvassing for the recall, and has been a bit frustrated from Dems he calls on … they don’t seem energized… the unions and the teachers and the hardcore are energized, but the hoi polloi seems a bit lackadaisical. Maybe fatigue is the right word, I think a better chance he will be indicted in the ongoing corruption investigation in Milwaukkee county might be more fruitful
There seems to be a portion of Dems and independents who don’t like the guy but also are not in favor of recall. That is the margin of error.
Another report I read said that Walker will take suburban Milwaukee and Wausau and Green Bay; Barrett will take Madison and the surrounding counties, the city of Milwaukee and the Southwestern part of the state
So they say the margin of victory in out in the small towns and rural areas of central, western and northern Wisconsin.
(2) It is risky, but latest polling shows it is getting tighter… Barrett and recall forces have had to wait to spend until the last week. Its going to be a turnout battle. Lets hope the recall works. Another person in Wisc. Told me they think if Walker wins, that Feingold will run against him in 2014.
Denise: Thank you for your posting to your blog on Tuesday! This must be very frustrating living so near to Wisconsin and having to listen to all of this. It is even more frustrating living here and having to deal with our current governor.
Here in Racine, we have a tough unemployment situation. There are jobs for skilled labor, but the cuts to the local technical college have made it even more difficult for anyone who wants the training to attend classes. Some local employers are training interested high school students with the promise of a job after graduation, but the situation is still so aggravating.
We all want a good outcome and positive changes here. Even if Scott Walker is ousted, which I hope that he is, all of this billionaire advertising will pit neighbor against neighbor for a long time.
Our prayers for peace are not only for what happens abroad, but also for our own neighborhoods due to this divisiveness.
Corky: Well worded Dick. We are flooded with calls, letters and pictures like never before. The WEAC supported Democratic candidate fell a LITTLE SHORT of a win in WISC primary. What qualifies as middle class today? Where is the national agenda for education from either party?
Stephanie: Beautifully said, Dick. I was in Hudson the other day and was encouraged by the homemade signs supporting Barrett …there were more of them than the pre-fab Walker signs…this would be such a sweet win for working people…heck, for everyone who cares about a sane society.
Leila: Sane society? We just had a entire Michigan school district turned over to an “emergency manager” who proceeded to hire a charter school company and fire all 80 teachers because the district was $12 million in debt. I hope that Minnesota remains poised to fight off attacks on public education because they are really fighting dirty in Michigan.
Jermitt: Walker is a very dangerous man. He has created great harm to public education, the environment, the poor and the elderly. This past year he paraded around with his rich friends, mostly from states other than Wisconsin, and raised multi-millions of dollars from his rich friends. Wisconsin is losing it reputation of being a “clean political” state with all the corruptions and big money taking over.
Patricia: Yes, those of us in the Duluth-Superior area know only too well what you mean about being inundated with ads. I ALSO think our being just across the bridge with adds to our understanding of the situation. A lot of the “outsiders” manning picket lines etc. are from our side of the border. Duluthians and North Shore residents shop in Superior a LOT, our kids go to UW@S, we work on either side of the border and feel a strong kinship.
Norm: Recall elections of any kind let alone of this magnitude are hard to win and Walker will probably win by the current poll margin of 4% or so or about the same margin as he beat Barrett by last time. Many union folk apparently are not all that enthusiastic about Barrett having preferred another candidate in the primary so that may explain the lack of enthusiasm that Dick mentions in his fine blog. As per Dick, I have also heard of many Democrats who don’t like Walker but feel that he should be allowed to serve out the term to which he was elected by the voters…and that will be a crucial factor in a close election as Dick noted. And there are always a certain number of folks, as Dick and others very well know that have a continuing [grievance] against public employees that can easily be exploited in their favor by the supporters of Walker and the ALEC agenda. As a public employee myself, I am well aware of the negative feelings of many citizens about us regardless of whether they have a rational reason for feeling that way.
Walker will likely win by a small margin although the margin could be larger and surprise all of the pundits and so on…prior to the start of the predictable adaseum analyses on whether or not outside money affected the race or not.
Jeff: Look past Madison. The economy here is slowing down in concert with the impending euro collapse and its tsunami effect worldwide. China and India are also slowing down and no longer have the froth to prop up the world as in 2008-2009.
This is not good for our mutual friend the POTUS [President Obama], I would have said he might have won if things kept improving slowly, but if things head the other way which is what I am seeing in past 60 days, this election is a toss up. Just like in Europe, its really not an ideological things, incumbents will be punished regardless of the party.
Dick, responding to Jeff: The American blood sport is to blame the President for everything. It is prudently noted that the first act of the Republicans when President Obama was inaugurated in 2009 was to obstruct everything, and create failure, hoping they could take credit later and blame him for the current problems. Never forget where the dominos were first set up to fall: easy credit and paying for a long war on the national credit card beginning in 2002 in a heavily Republican dominated government.
Will: The Wisconsin recall election is America in microcosm. In this election year, it will tell us a lot about where the electorate is re the Nov. 6 election.
Always remember that Republican master strategist Karl Rove has as his goal installation of a permanent Republican majority in the three branches of government. He has the Supreme Court in hand by a consistent 5-4 margin on key issues for the nation. Whether he can succeed for the long haul in the House and Senate remains to be seen.
John: My baptism into the teacher union movement was in 1968-69 when I was chief negotiator of a first contract for the Albany EA with the Albany , WI public schools. This was bargained under the provisions of the Wisconsin public sector bargaining law. After a few more years of teaching music, in 1971 I began my professional career as a union organizer for with the Minnesota Education Association, later known as Education Minnesota. Just as I was retiring last year, after 40 years with the union here in MN, Gov. Walker was throwing a monkey wrench into the works in my home state. It seemed, and still does, as unbelievable.
Make no mistake: the assault on public sector unions in Wisconsin is part of a much bigger push by the right wing to dis-empower all workers, unionized or not, both public and private. The fight to recall Walker and his conservative legislators has been intriguing to observe. I am pulling for a successful outcome. If only the right wing push in Wisconsin were an aberation! All to many citizens either “think” they are in the top 1% or expect to be (winning the lottery?) and don’t realize how assaults on any workers is an assault on them.
The motto of the State of Wisconsin is “Forward”. Let’s all act on another slogan: “Forward ever, backward never”.
Susan: Dick, well written and true, although Wisconsin (where I live) is a flashpoint for all the battles in this country. We can’t win with money – the boatloads went elsewhere. But we can fight back with bodies knocking on doors. We Wisconsinites will have to live with what happens. And Minnesota has its own challenges too.
Sabrina: I sent postcards to the DNC and asked that they openly support the Democrats in Wisconsin. The Democrats have got to also be concerned with what state legislatures are doing cause they are the ones working to take away our rights.
Mary Ellen: Thanks, Dick. It’s not easy living in Wisconsin lately. But, neighbors are still friendly and we all try to avoid the divisiveness promoted in every political ad and sound-bite. We’re also refusing to take their dumb polls. The 4% is bogus. Walker is on his way out. It’s only a question of how big a margin it will be. Tuesday can’t come soon enough. That’s the day we can prove that the vote is mightier than the dollar.
Dick 8:30 p.m. June 3: Latest report, on CBS news this afternoon, was that Gov. Walker had a 3 to 1 advantage in $’s for his campaign. I suppose somebody could say that “that’s almost even”. Of course it isn’t almost even….

#573 – Dick Bernard: Three Memories on Memorial Day 2012. Frank Peter Bernard, Henry Bernard and Patricia Krom

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SEVERAL UPDATES, INCLUDING PHOTOS at end of this post.
I’m at the age where death is an increasingly regular visitor to my circles. This Memorial Day three deaths come to mind.
The first came when I was 1 1/2 years old, when my Uncle Frank Peter Bernard went down on the USS Arizona at Pearl Harbor HI. He was 26 years old, and I had “met” him in Long Beach CA five months earlier, at the end of June, 1941.
(click on photos to enlarge them)

Henry Sr, Josephine, Josie, Frank Peter, Richard, Henry and Esther Bernard, Long Beach CA late June, 1941


I’m the family historian, and I recall no talk, ever, about any kind of funeral or memorial service for Frank.
He was from Grafton, ND. On Dec. 7, 1941, his brother, my Dad, was a teacher in the rural ND country school called Rutland Consolidated; his sister lived in Los Angeles; and his parents were wintering in Long Beach CA. Indeed, according to my Dad, they were not sure, for some time, whether or not Frank was dead. His good boyhood and Navy friend, John Grabanske, was reported to have died, though later was found to be very much alive (and lived on, well into his 80s). Here’s my Dad’s recollection, as recounted by myself 50 years after Pearl Harbor: Bernard H Pearl Harbor001
The closest I have to a “memory card” about a formal remembering of Uncle Frank is a long article in the February 17, 1942 Grand Forks (ND) Herald, reporting on a large ND picnic somewhere in the Los Angeles area on about February 12, 1942. Such picnics were common in those days – a gathering of winterers and transplants.
There is a poignant passage which I quote here in part: “A touching incident occurred during the program. [The counsel for the Republic of Poland in Los Angeles] read a press report telling of the death of a young man of Polish descent at Pearl Harbor, the young man being a native of the Grafton area. When he had finished reading a man and his wife arose in the audience, the man asking if he might interrupt for just a moment…the man [my grandfather] said the report of the boy’s death later was found to be in error, but that the man actually killed at Pearl Harbor was the pal of the boy mentioned in the first press report. “The boy killed,” said the man, “was our son!”…The entire audience arose and stood in silence for a moment in honor of the dead hero and the parents who made the sacrifice.”
Uncle Frank’s grave, on the USS Arizona, is probably among the most visited cemeteries in the world. I know his sister, my Aunt Josie, visited there in 1969, but my Dad and his parents never had that opportunity.
The next funeral I remember is for that same Grandfather of mine, who died May 23, 1957 at age 85. I was 17.
His funeral was in Grafton, on May 25, 1957, and many people came to his funeral.
Grandpa was a Spanish-American War Veteran, Philippines, 1898-99. We still have the flag in recognition of his service.
It has 48 stars. Alaska and Hawaii had not yet been admitted as states. It is the flag we raised on a flagpole the family purchased at Our Lady of the Snows, Belleville IL, after Dad died in 1997. We raised the flag on Memorial Day, 1998, dedicating it to Grandpa’s sons, my Dad and Uncle Frank. (Here’s an interesting piece of research about percent of Americans who actually serve in the Military)

Dedication of flagpole with Grandpa Bernards 48 star flag, Memorial Day, 1998, Our Lady of the Snows, Belleville IL


Plaque for the Our Lady of the Snows flagpole, 1998


Time passes on, many more deaths and remembrances of all assorted kinds.
The most recent came on May 19, 2012, in Langdon ND, a memorial service for my cousin Patricia (Brehmer) Krom. Pat actually passed away in Las Vegas on January 25, and there was a memorial service there at that time, but the Langdon area was her home, and my Uncle Vince and I went up for the Memorial Service.
All funerals are alike; all funerals are very different. Pat’s was no exception.
I doubt I will ever forget the eulogy at Pat’s Memorial, given by her husband of 42 years, Kent.
He retraced two lives together in a truly memorable way, one which any one in any relationship for any length of time could immediately relate to; from the first awkward dance at Langdon High School, to her death at only 62 years of age.

Pat Brehmer Krom's life, May 19, 2012


The details are unimportant, except for one which I will always remember. As I recall it, regardless of how their day might have gone, it was a frequent occurrence for exchange of a simple expression of affection: “I love you Kent Krom”; “I love you Pat Brehmer”.
Can’t get better than that.
Arriving back in LaMoure, before I left for home, I picked up a new flag for the flagpole at Vince and Edith’s residence, Rosewood Care Center.
Friday, May 25, at 10:30, they dedicated the new flag to the memory of Patricia Brehmer Krom.
Happy Memorial Day.

Spring at Redeemer Cemetery near Dresden ND May 19, 2012 near the grave of Mary and Allen Brehmer


UPDATES:
Memorial Day, which began as Decoration Day in post-Civil War times, has a long history. Ironically, it was born of what was likely America’s deadliest war ever (in terms of casualties related to the entire population). Americans slaughtered other Americans.
Here are some impressions of today received from individuals. Possibly because the day has an over 140 year history, and because the means of war has changed so much in recent years, making war almost impersonal (see the Pew Research above), there are differing interpretations of what Memorial Day means: is it an event to be solemnly remembered, enjoyed, celebrated, etc.?
How we look differently at the meaning of Memorial Day is good reason for increased conversation among people with differing points of view.
From Susan Lucas: Dick, at the end of your blog you say, “Happy Memorial Day.” I’m afraid I don’t find this day a happy one. The three flags represent our three sons. I’m just so sorry that so many in our society regard Memorial Day as the first day of summer and a three-day weekend to go to the cabin. Anyone who visits Fort Snelling or any other national cemetery can truly appreciate why we have a Memorial Day. While Tom did not die while actually in the service, as the original “Decoration Day” was meant to be, the day should honor all who have been in military service. It’s a day to honor their memory. I question whether it should still be a national holiday when, as Pew Research suggests, so few families are actually impacted by military service anymore.

May 27, 2012, at Ft. Snelling Cemetery from Susan Lucas


From Carol Turnbull: Beautiful!
Scouts observing Memorial Day at a Cemetery in South St. Paul MN, doing upkeep of graves, and placing flags at the stones of veterans.

Scouts at So St Paul cemetery May 28, 2012


Daughter Heather and granddaughter Kelly at grave of Mom and Grandma Diane in So. St. Paul May 28, 2012


The annual commemoration by the MN Veterans for Peace at the State Capitol Grounds, St. Paul MN. Many Vets for Peace, but no means all, are Vietnam Veterans. I have been part of Veterans for Peace for over 10 years.

Veterans for Peace near MN Vietnam Vets Memorial on the MN Capitol Grounds May 28, 2012


Local VFP President Larry Johnson at the MN Capitol area observance May 28


Gita Ghei, whose father was caught in the conflict in western India (a civil war of sorts) at the time the British transferred authority to Indians.


Vet Jerry Rau performs a composition on May 28


Commentary here from Digby related to a Veterans for Peace event in southern California.
Other commentaries on the label “hero” as a topic of contemporary political warfare are here and here.
Of course, such a term is a moving target. In the 2004 Presidential Election, candidate John Kerry, whose military service and heroism in Vietnam was ridiculed by “Swift Boating” negative ads, was made to seem the opposite of what he was: a serviceman who had done his job above and beyond the call of duty. I agree with the assessment that the word “hero” is often misapplied in todays political conversation. Personally, I’m a lucky Vietnam era veteran. I served during the first Vietnam War years 50 years ago, and can prove it. I did everything I was asked to do, and I never left the United States. Indeed, we were preparing a reactivated infantry division for later combat in Vietnam, but in our frame of the time, we had no idea that such a war was developing. We simply did our jobs. If that is heroism, so be it.
But, then, John Kerry was far more a hero than I every thought of being, and he was viciously ridiculed for his service….
President Obama spoke at the Vietnam Memorial on Monday. I had the lucky privilege of having been at that Memorial the very weekend it was dedicated in the Fall of 1982. Vietnam Mem DC 1982001
A little photo album of my service time as a “hero” at Ft. Carson CO can be found on the internet, here. Note my name in the first paragraph, click on the link to the album, and open the link to a few of my “Photographs of 1/61….” in 1962-63.

#572 – Dick Bernard: Election 2012 #18. Four days without the "news"

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Last Friday I took a four day one thousand mile trip related to family matters in North Dakota. The trip included a visit to an Aunt and Uncle and a drive to a family funeral near the Canadian border. Over half of the trip was by myself, which always makes a trip seem longer, at least to me.
The 450 mile portion of the trip with my Uncle – my Aunt was not feeling well and stayed home – was a pleasure, albeit connected with a sad occasion: the final memorial and burial of one of my cousins.
There was lots of time for us to just visit, in the country manner.
In those four days there were scant idle moments. If I wasn’t doing something, I was sleeping. Such is how it goes.
As I age, it takes longer to recover from these trips, but they all have their pleasant aspects: “visiting”; arriving at the assisted living facility to find a couple entertaining the residents with karaoke; taking a side trip enroute home from the funeral to see the dikes attempting to hold the ever-swelling Devils Lake from flooding even more territory (my Uncle seriously tempted to stop to do some fishing); going to church; doing some routine work on the home farmstead; experiencing a whole lot of old-fashioned hospitality….
In 1000 miles, 450 of it essentially new territory for me to actually see, one sees a lot of interesting things, and much beauty, even in an ever more sparsely populated state like my home state of North Dakota.
Something else happened this trip.
I didn’t watch television, listen to radio, or even read newspapers, not even the local weekly, The Chronicle, which I am in the habit of buying when at my relatives town. The Chronicle is a throwback to the ‘old days’. Indeed, when it is published tomorrow, I will appear as “news” in the community events section of the paper. I was a visitor, after all, and such things are noticed in those not-always mythological “towns that time forgot and the decades cannot improve” of Garrison Keillor.
*
Then I arrived home Monday night and was reunited with the real world conveyed through television and newspaper.
This particular time, the evening of May 21, 2012, the battle was still raging over what Mayor Corey Booker of Newark NJ had passionately opined on one of the Sunday morning news program. The topic is irrelevant, but the outcome was predictable.
Because the statement was passionate, probably not scripted, and because Mayor Booker is identified as partisan, favoring one candidate for President over another, the statement was quotable, and it was instantly manipulated into useful sound bites for political advertising and partisan commentary, and required response from the other side.
The statement seemed to have basically swamped the news cycle of this particular day in history. It had even outlived the traditional one-day ‘moment of fame’.
Mayor Booker’s major sin, it seems, was that he was honest in his expression of opinion. Honesty in politics is truly politically dangerous, We seem to not only expect, but demand, that our politicians be dishonest.
I had come back from my isolation in “Lake Wobegon” to the battlefield of today’s contemporary politics where the objective is for one side to win, by making another lose; the elevation of an ever meaner and nastier side of what passes for political conversation in this country.
We witness it all, most of us from an easy chair in front of a television screen, too many of us picking up our reality from one extremely partisan side, or another.
It is not a winning strategy for our country, our larger community.
Election 2012 is looming.
Either we are part of the solution, or part of the problem…and the solution is not demolishing by any and all means the opposing ‘other’, or dismissing the other point of view.
We are, after all, part of a very large family of humankind.
*
Monday early afternoon, visit over, it was time to head back to “the Cities”.
Out the window at the assisted living facility I had noted that the American flag on the flagpole was badly frayed from too long in the North Dakota wind.
Down to the hardware store I went, and picked up a replacement which will be posted in time for Memorial Day, in memory of cousin Pat, and for all of us.
Happy Memorial Day.
*
An album from May 18-21, 2012: (click on photos to enlarge)

Karaoke program at Rosewood


Remembering a life at Langdon


A little lunch after the service


The ritual photo at Mom and Dad...and Sisters...grave at Dresden


spring


Wimbledon


Bedstead and old harnest in the haymow of the old barn


In the old barn. Dad helped make these beams when the roof of the old barn blew down July, 1949.


1915 Stanchions for milking cows


An old stove in a shed


where the old house used to be, from the haymow of the barn


Uncle Vince planting tomatoes

#571 – Dick Bernard: Customer Service

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Monday my wife and I were enroute “between here and there” and I suggested we stop in at Maplewood Toyota as we might be in the market for another car.
The stop was a logical one: we’ve purchased four cars there, the most recent one 7 years ago, all from the same salesman who’s very easy to work with.
We parked and got out of the car and saw a man crossing the street. He gave a friendly greeting. He was in front of us, and saw we were heading towards the same door he was entering, so he held it open for us.
Cathy said we were there to look at a car, and were looking for Tim. It turned out that Tim was the one who had just held open the door for us. He didn’t recognize us, and we didn’t recognize him. It had been, after all, seven years, and we don’t hang around auto dealerships as a matter of course.
We laughed about it, did our looking, and I told him that if we were to buy a car, it would be from him. And we went on our way.
But I got to thinking about this routine but extraordinary act of customer service, without any notion of who we were or why were there. It was simply Tim Ehlenz being Tim Ehlenz. And by the way he was selling himself, he’d made a sale without selling anything. He was being with us as he’d be with anyone coming in from off the street.
One never knows who the “customer” is, or when he or she will show up on your doorstep.
We are no longer an isolated world where you all live in the same little town and know everyone.
I did a little piece about that just a few days ago: about Montrose SD.
Nowadays our community is much larger, and we’re at risk if we don’t recognize that reality.
A couple of years ago I had occasion to write specific letters to a number of legislators, only one of which was “my” legislator. Each of them happened to be on a committee dealing with a particular policy issue in which I had a specific interest. I went to each legislators website and in several instances found a “welcome” note that basically said, in different words: “if you’re not from my legislative district, don’t bother me with your prattle cuz I won’t answer your e-mail.”
It wasn’t much of a welcome. For all they knew (nothing, since they didn’t even look at my letter), I could have been helpful, or damaging to them in many ways. Maybe a friend or one of my kids lived in their district, and I would pass on good news, or bad, about them…
Further back, in April of 1999, I remember a very similar happening under completely different circumstances.
I had been driving home from a meeting and heard the first radio announcements of something bad that had happened in Littleton CO – a shooting at the high school.
My son and family lived in Littleton, and had the natural need of a parent and grandparent to know if everyone was all right.
They were.
As the information began to come in about Columbine, I came to know that the school was only a mile from where my family lived, and Tom felt he had probably seen the two perpetrators the day before in a local McDonald’s.
The day after the carnage at Columbine, I happened to be in a learning session with about a dozen colleagues, all of whom were school public relations professionals in Minnesota school districts.
We were talking about Littleton, and somebody said, “I’m sure glad that isn’t my district right now”.
I said, “my granddaughter lives only a mile from that school”.
The tenor of the conversation changed completely in an instant.
It hadn’t occurred to anyone that our world is indeed a village without borders, and that just because the carnage hadn’t happened in any of our districts, didn’t mean that people in our districts were not affected.
Customer service is always, every day.
Regardless of what you’re selling….

#570 – Dick Bernard: Election 2012 #17. A Funeral

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A couple of weeks ago I attended the memorial service for a former colleague of mine. He was 78 when he died, and the memorial service was in a small city outside the twin cities area.
John had been my colleague for 24 years. I didn’t know him well, as we were among about 40 staff people in a state-wide organization, and other than relatively frequent staff-meetings, he & I didn’t have any day to day relationship. He was from another part of the state. But we were part of the same staff group and saw each other frequently.
John’s was an open casket funeral. We were there, family and friends and colleagues. A Methodist minister officiated.
(click on photos to enlarge)


We’d seen the obituary before the funeral, and it mentioned John’s “significant other for 37 years, Oliver…”
I asked our colleague who I was riding with, “was John Gay?” Yes. Obviously he was. I’d never noticed anything. He was simply ‘staff’ like me.
With John’s casket was a military-folded American flag, recognizing his military service. He’d been a Marine in the Korean War years. For nine years he had been a public school teacher before he was a union representative.
I’d guess there were about 30 of us at the service, mostly family members.
It was a very nice send off for John.
I noticed in the obit that while John grew up and went to college in Iowa, and had lived for almost all of his work life in Minnesota, that his burial was to be in a rural Norwegian cemetery in eastern North Dakota.
As is my tendency, I asked a stupid question of Oliver, his partner: “why is the burial to be in North Dakota?”
Oliver replied politely that the cemetery was his families cemetery, and he and John had bought adjoining plots some years earlier. It was a matter of fact answer. I felt foolish.
They’d loved each other for 37 years, why wouldn’t they want to be buried together?
John’s funeral occurred at the very time when the issue of Gay relationships is under the spotlight in the United States. In the last few days President Obama has weighed in, powerfully, on the issue; and North Carolina has enshrined anti-Gay marriage language in their State Constitution.
Such a matter is pending in Minnesota in the Fall election as well, and politically savvy people are calling the Gay issue a wedge issue….
As the casket was about to be closed, Oliver said the final goodbye to his partner. I don’t recall ever seeing such a tender farewell from one to another. It was a gentle, powerful moment.
Perhaps, just perhaps, John’s death on April 29, might be part of the death of the anti-Gay hate campaign that has been so useful to so many for so long.
One can hope.
TWO VIGNETTES plus two other points:
1. My Aunt Jean passed away in 1994, and I volunteered to give my friend, Fr. Paul, a ride to the memorial service.
Paul had married Uncle George and Aunt Jean in 1944, and had baptized me in 1940. In his later years, he and I had become good friends.
During the long drive from his home to the place of the memorial service, Paul began to reminisce about his growing up, seminary, and his many years in the Priesthood in North Dakota. By all accounts, he was a very faithful Priest, a very good man. We talked about many things: about the loneliness and isolation of his profession, and of how he and his colleague Priests coped, and of occasional serious lapses. Priests are human, after all. He allowed me to tape his reminiscences.
There was only one point at which he became visibly agitated about anything, and that was when he talked about homosexual relationships. “I just don’t understand that”, he said. And on we went.
It has occurred to me that it was not homosexuality of someone else that was Paul’s problem; it was Paul’s unwillingness to understand it that was his own perception problem. So it goes for those who rail against it. It is not a religious issue so much as it is an understanding issue.
2. The Catholic Church hierarchy (happens to be my church too) is in the forefront of the marriage/man/woman campaign. It is not quite as simple as the Bishops and Cardinals ‘teach’.
I have the marriage contract of my first Bernard ancestor in Quebec in the year 1730 (in its entirety here: Quebec Marriage Cont001)
The document speaks for itself. Quebec was a Catholic country: non-Catholics were not welcome. So this civil contract did in fact require marriage in the Catholic Church. But the civil contract was entered into two weeks before the religious marriage, and they were separate and distinct entities. Even in an all Catholic country, there was separation between Church and State. In the Bernard-Giroux case, the marriage in the church happened two weeks after the civil contract of marriage. Would there have been a valid civil marriage if one or the other of the couple died before the religious bans? Doubtless that happened more than once.
3. I keep thinking of my classmate, Jerry, who died in 1993. We were simply classmates in a tiny school (senior class of nine) and it wasn’t till years later that I learned he was Gay, from his Aunt. Recently I googled his name, and up came a short obituary of him. It would seem appropriate to add this web reference to Jerry, which speaks well for itself. I particularly note the anonymity of the two brief tributes. That is how it has been, to be Gay in our society.
4. A longer summary of the current political conversation about the Gay Marriage issue is here.

#569 – Dick Bernard: Mother's Day 2012. "A woman's work is never done"

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Happy Mother’s Day.
This phrase, (link) “A woman’s work is never done”, keeps rattling through my brain. (The link is an interesting compilation about “woman’s work”.)
There are infinite variations to the theme, “Mother’s Day”. For us, one event will be the always fascinating May Day Parade in south Minneapolis (this years version was postponed due to weather.)
Two recent events lead to this days post.
May 9 I rendezvoused in Sioux Falls SD with my friend from 8th grade, Emmett. Emmett and I have been “Christmas card friends” over the many years since we first met in 1953-54 in western North Dakota. Because he lived on the west coast, and I in Minnesota’s Twin Cities There were rare “faceoffs” (as my Dad would describe face-to-face meetings). I recall brief ‘faceoffs’ between Emmett and I in 1958, 1997 and 2007. That’s about it.
This time a wedding in Emmett’s family in Sioux Falls gave a good excuse for my 250 mile trip west, and the two of us had a great conversation, just “catching up”.
We met in 8th grade, the only year we lived in his tiny town of Ross ND. He was a farm kid, and I the oldest son of two teachers in the tiny town school.
My Mom, then 44, was our teacher in the 7th and 8th grade room. Her son, my brother John, then 5 years old (there was no kindergarten in these tiny schools), spent his school days in our classroom.
click on photo to enlarge

Esther and Henry Bernard at the Ross Prom, 1954


May 9 and 10 Emmett and I had maybe five hours to ‘catch up’ and he told a simple story, a memorable one which seems to fit Mother’s Day.
When he was a kid he had a great interest in airplanes, and one day he happened to see a wing of something protruding out of a bag he probably wasn’t supposed to see. It was a model of a B-17, an important aircraft in WWII, planned as a gift to him.
Somebody had noticed Emmett’s interest, and paid attention to it, and the gift became part of his life memory bank, and possibly a motivator as well.
It was a single item, a single event, but Emmett went on to become an aeronautical engineer and a very successful one.
I don’t have a lot of memories of my Mom as my classroom teacher, and likely Emmett didn’t have either. But as generations of students know, good teachers are best at helping students become functioning and aware adults…and I think both Mom and Dad succeeded at that, and not only with me. Life lessons from our elders are very often doled out in ‘bits and pieces’, most held below the conscious level. Memories that stick.
The second event impacting today happened several weeks earlier when I received an invitation to a reading of a new book by the author, Annetta Sanow Sutton.
Annetta is someone I’ve known for over 25 years, but I can recall only twice actually seeing her in person in all those years.
I went to her reading, and bought the book, and read it: Catholic Alcoholic, A Witness to Addiction and Redemption. (No, it’s not just for Catholics….)
The title is serious, but it is a memoir, and I found it to leave openings to reflect on my own life experience within my own family. While it was a mother’s story, a sister’s, a daughters, a niece’s…it left plenty of room for reflection for me.

One reunion with an old classmate, male, and another, a reading of a book by a career professional in counseling, female, brought me some new insights into the many and diverse ways women – mothers – live on in all of us.
My own Mom died 31 years ago, at my current age, so I think of the moving on of life more so than usual this year.
None of us is perfect. The best we can do is to contribute at least a little to the betterment of our communities, families and world.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Yes, “A woman’s work is never done.”

The falls of the Sioux River at Sioux Falls, SD, May 9, 2012


UPDATE May 16, 2012:
Will, on May 13, responded to this post as follows:
It is among the least politcally correct things to say on Mother’s Day but there are a number of us who were tormented and some who even required mental health care for years because of mothers who, for one reason or another, made our young lives miserable.
I believe it was the writer Philip (sp?) Wylie who wrote about “Momism,” the dark side of motherhood.
When I visit the family burial plot at the Jewish cemetery at 70 1/2 St. and Penn Av. S. Richfield, MN it is decidely with mixed emotions for both my late mother and father.
How to prepare young people for parenthood should be part of the education curriculum, in my opinion.
What do you-all think?
Dick, in response: Will’s is a valid point. Not all mothering…or fathering, for that matter…experiences are all that positive.
Speaking for myself, I was Mom, and Dad, for nearly nine years to first an infant, then, later, to a teenager, my son. I can say, I guess, “been there, done that”. It wasn’t an easy task single, nor married. People have differing skills, priorities and demands. You only hope that in the end things turn out for the best. There is a great deal more to my story, which my family could tell very well. Suffice to say, I understand Will’s lament.
Annetta Sutton in her excellent book, Catholic Alcoholic (see above), makes comments on this issue within her own family.
I noted on Sunday at Basilica of St. Mary that there was a different emphasis in the traditional end-of-Mass blessing for Mothers. This Sunday, the Priest asked all women to stand, and blessed them all, acknowledging that “mother” is a much broader term than simply having given birth. It was handled very well, and I think the congregation was pleased.