Deceased

Yesterday I got a note that someone I knew had died in mid-July in a neighboring state.  He was 87, and apparently had been in failing health for some years.  He was a Superintendent of Schools in large school districts in three states, including the one where I was the teacher’s union rep during the first six years of his 15 year career there.

Lew (his first name) was respected in my district.  The nature of our jobs tended to be competitive, but there was no animosity.  I left the district nine years before he did, we shared common ground for about six years, dealing with issues as our respective jobs required.

I don’t think he was run out of town on a rail!  Leastways I’ve never heard that from others I know who were there the entire time period that he was Superintendent.

I looked at Lew’s obituary, which was essentially the standard verbiage except for one missing piece of information: there was not a single word about his 15 years as Superintendent in my school district, which was then and remains among the largest in Minnesota.

Some months earlier I’d been to another memorial for another former colleague, Patrick, who was in his 90s and had even longer service with his employer.  He had been my boss.  Similarly, nothing was said about his work in our organization, from which he’d been retired for over 30 years.  A couple of us had some open-mike time to at least acquaint the others about the Pat that we knew.

I can think of many other similar examples I’ve seen over the years.  Unfortunately the blank spaces make sense, in a sense, at least.

When you get old, memorials seem to be the primary social gatherings – reunions as it were….  It has occurred to me especially in the more recent years that the deceased is not much able to plan his or her own funeral, much less write the remarks somebody will make about the dear departed who is no longer available.

Unless the person takes the time, before it’s too late, to write something as simple as a timeline of significant events in his or her life, the survivors left to plan the celebration of life will be left to their own devices, and will have to rely on their own memories.

So…before it’s too late, give some thought to how you’d like to be remembered; write it down and give it to someone who’ll likely have to deal with your last public appearance.